A Look at Wonderland
by wired dragonfli
Summary: For the record, I don't do anything like buy diaries for myself gossip in. I'm bugged by various maggots on a daily basis and find that the only way I won't stick my wand in their ears and shout 'Expelliarmus' is by venting in one of these...[LJ]
1. I, Lily the Freak

**Disclaimer:** The Wonderful World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing but the plot and Lily Evans' literary voice and attitude.

* * *

**A L**ook **A**t **W**onderland

_**b**y__**W**ired **D**ragonfli_

**C**hapter **O**ne - **I**, **L**ily **t**he **F**reak

"You're just disgusting!"

"Don't point that stick at me!"

"Are you still mooning over that Potter boy? Don't lie, I heard you talking with your odd friend in the fireplace!"

"I bet you don't have _real_ friends anyway..."

"Why would I want to have weird hair like _you_?"

"Mum! _She_ can't go to my birthday, people will think I'm strange like _her_."

"Get out of my room, you freak."

"Vernon, this is... a deeply disturbed charity case, our family is housing her until she's sent off to boarding school."

"What the bloody hell? What is this? _Lily!_ Tell me what this right now you repugnant brat!"

There must have been a million things I could have said in response to her idiocy (but I wasn't about to tell her the mysterious green mass in her hair was frogspawn...). There must have been a million times I would have given anything to hex her into October. There were also a million more times I had told myself that I shouldn't give a damn about what she said. I guess eventually I made myself believe this, but it still didn't change the fact that I did care.

If there was one thing that could ruin my day it was the word "freak" muttered under the breath of my darling sister Petunia. I never could understand why she hated me being a witch so much, but I bet a large part of it was due to jealously. Petunia was a bit of a nitwit (C'mon...somebody has to say it!), so all the attention Mum and Dad gave me must have really hit a nerve. She rarely had them fondling over some achievement of hers, and me coming along as a witch must have just been another one Lily's first-prize ribbons to her.

I never asked mum and dad to fall all over themselves when I got my Hogwarts letter. They went on for _days_ about how I was a witch _this_, how I would be studying magic _that_. At ten, I accepted it readily, sucking up the spotlight like a solar panel.

Now...it was just getting bothersome each time they asked me to explain something over dinner. "_Lily, tell us some more about those hinkywhatsits." _or my favorite "_So the ceiling in the great hall is enchanted to look _exactly _like the sky outside?" _Really, you'd think they'd have gotten it the first two hundred and seventy two times.

Petunia only sniffed and stuck her nose in the air as though we were discussing some sort of food that she found distasteful. She acted as though I'd magiked the words "**LOOK AT ME**" onto my forehead and skipped around the house making poptarts float and microwaves sparkle and shudder and glow. Which I wouldn't even is I could. After all, no magic out side of school, right?

Tunia used to be wonderfull. The best sister I could ask for. I remember how instead of reguarding me as a tag-along, she'd bring me to show off to her friends. "Look at my pretty sister!" she'd say, as if I were a doll Petunia was proud of having in her possesion. In the end all the credit came back to her. Now that I think back on it, the whole thing wasn't that great, but at least she looked at me with that fond sort of look only sisters can pass back and forth. I had always felt so loved by her, but I guess it really _was_ showing off to such a great extent no one would have guessed. After all, if she could just thrust me aside like some doll that had lost an eye or perhaps a foot...

If becoming abnormal, a "freak", could turn her against me that swiftly, then what the hell was I doing clinging on to those memories. I was trying to hold on to a relationship with my sister that had been so sheer and translucent that I can't believe I couldn't see through her right away.

But hey, I was ten. Young and stupid; naive and ignorant. That's all in the past now, isn't it? Hakuna Matata or whatever.

I guess I could be mature about the whole matter and pretend what she says doesn't affect me, and for the most part, I've been able to keep that facade up. But sometimes, I can't help but kick her in the shins with only "Shut Up, **_Tuna_**!" as an explanation and a whiney emphasis on my sister's most hated meat.

I've even gone so far as to wonder if she hates tuna because of it's foul taste, or for the fact that it's a nickname that _I_, _Lily the Freak_, thought up. Knowing the vile excuse of a human, I would go with the latter. I swear, God put her on earth to torture me.

Okay...so now I'm ranting and raving and whining like some sniveling ten year old. But hey, isn't that how memoirs get started? No one ever actually writes these things on a regular boring day where the single highlight of said day is going to the store to buy a journal to write in to relieve themselves of aforementioned boredom. I'm sure that was a odd run on sentence that made no sense, but hey, poo to you on that.

For the record of anyone who finds this and is reading at this precise moment, I, Lily Evans, soon to be 5th year Gryffie at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry am not the kind of girl that does anything like buying diaries for themselves gossip in. I'm the kind of girl that is bugged by various maggots on a day to day basis and find that the only way I'll keep from sticking my wand in their ears and shouting "_Expelliarmus_" is by venting in one of these magic journal type diary things.

I have always been against diaries for many reasons. I could never grasp why a person would want to spend so much time writing to a notebook that could not, beyond their wildest dreams respond in any way, shape, or form. I was always more comfortable discussing my problems with people. After all, people can listen and give answers and offer advice. To top that off, they can cheer you up and comfort you.

Even post-Hogwarts-letter I retained this belief, and never quite realized that in _this_ world, journals could do exactly what people go do, give or take a few things. I never gave the subject much thought until I found this book beneath layers of wrapping paper at the foot of my bed on Christmas morning. It was a gift from Samantha Daniels, a firstie I tutor in Charms. Of course, Sam was never able to pick up on my "unique" outlook on life if she thinks a diary is at all a suitable gift.

The irony would have to be that I'm using something I once considered taboo to have in my possession, kept out of politeness, and am now writing in with a pen Tuna chucked at my head when she passed by my door.

Alas, there goes my free will. Soon I will be join the hoards of teenage girls who journal at any given moment and always have shrunken versions of their precious books tucked into their knickers and what not. I predict that before the end of summer I will dye my hair blonde and start dressing like Barbie.

I truthfully hope you know me well enough by now to also know that the above is something that I would never consider doing. I will never become a hair-dying-scrap-wearing thing. My god.

I've just described Petunia.

* * *

My sister is **_mad_**. She just attempted to decapitate Napkin with a clothes hanger when he tried to deliver my supply list. Honestly, the bird didn't even come near her. The poor thing mistook her room for mine again. Though how he would make such an error after nearly losing an eye last time ... I don't know. 

Luckily, I'd heard Tuna's deranged shrieks from down the hall and called Napkin to safety. Sadly, my owl was named on a suggestion the despicably foul Petunia Evan gave me.

* * *

"_Tunia!__Tunia! Look at my new owl!" a bright eyed Lily had said._

"_Keep that thing away from me!" old shit-for-brains had screeched._

_The ten year old me frowned, crest fallen._

_Petunia, who might still have cared for me at this point, softened her expression. Lily took this as an opportunity to reconcile. _

"_What should I name him? He's white? What reminds you of white?" I had said, hoping to show my dear sister that although I was now a freak, I still wanted her to be in my life, and I still cared about her enough to ask her opinion._

_A grin spread across her face, on of malice as a I recall now._

"_Napkins!" she spat, "Name it Napkin!"_

"_Oh, okay," I had said, not liking the name one bit, "Thanks Tunia!"_

* * *

Nevertheless, I took her stupid suggestion. My parents for the life of themselves could not figure out why I had named my owl after a piece of pressed paper. When I finally told them and grew to understand that Tuna had only humored me out of spite, both Napkin and I had grown to fond of his name to change it. 

To this day, I get ridiculous looks from old and young students alike when I come into the owlery yelling "Napkin!"

Napkins restless hooting brought me out of my reverie. I seem to zone out a lot these days, drifting off on pointless flashbacks and all. Grimly, I realize how, despite my effort, my thoughts all summer focus mainly on the vile potato sack that is my sister. For someone who claims not to care for that horse's opinion, I sure do think of her a lot.

Who can blame me though? Left at home all summer with that hag. At least she takes the liberty to drive off with _Vernon_ in his cherry red pickup truck, leaving me a few hours of peace.

Stupid, stupid, man. Talking about his silly drills all day. Really, can we get any more _droll_? And Tuna is head over heels in love with him. Stupid, stupid, girl. I'd think she'd chose just a _bit_ better, but who am I to complain? They truly deserve each other.

They could go off an have their children right now. Silly little children that are half tuna fish and half drills. I could see it now; her running about, breathing down their necks and spoiling them rotten. I'd bet she'd give them all the attention our parents never gave her.

I even went as far as to grind my teeth at that point, which Napkin noticed as well since he hooted and gave me a startled look.

Breath Evans. Calm down.

Looking down his extended foot, I unfastened three letters. One from Hogwarts, one from Emmy Vance, and one, surprisingly, from Remus Lupin.

The first, being a standard Hogwarts letter, was quickly thrust onto the top of a pile of clothing in my open trunk. I am one of those people who takes dreadfully long to pack(I always pack much more than I need) and takes even longer to unpack once she returns from where she's been.

Therefore, I thought it best to leave the bloody trunk open all summer, and do both packing and unpacking at the same time. This method was quickly introduced after first year where I was driven insane opening and reopening my trunk so much. I shook my head at the mess and took up Em's letter.

**Lily, Darling**

**Summer has been horribly interesting without you, (Hope you caught the sarcasm there) and I'm sure I'd be glad to complain about my disconfigured family** **and wast both of our time, but alack, that's your _forte_, isn't it?**

**Besides, the day Emmeline Vance admits, in writing, that her family gets to her (which it doesn't) is the day my mother leaves my father for a muggle.**

**Meh, what to say...surprisingly, my dear old mum actually agreed to let you stay for the last two weeks of summer. What a shame, you'll have only one more week with Petty.**

Emmeline Vance shared, to some extent, sympathy for my family problems. She was pureblooded, which her parents held in high regard. Of course, they were not crazy-bonkers like the Blacks, but then again, no one was crazy-bonkers like the Blacks. It wasn't that the Vances hated muggle-borns. They just wanted to keep the family line clean, and insisted Em marry pure. Em of course, opposed their views as the prospect of keeping her family inbred disgusted her. Many people said she was the girlified Sirius Black, but if anything, Sirius was Em with slightly less passion and a bit more testosterone. Okay, maybe not passion, more like temper.

**Did you know I had to go to another bleeding family wedding? This time I KNOW my parents didn't know ANYONE at the party. Merlin's beard, WE WERE IN HONG KONG! As in China; as in "you've-only-been-invited-to-this-wedding-cuz-my-parents-are-nutcases-like-yours-and-we-had-to-invite-everyone-in-the-whole-friggin-family-tree"! I liked the rice though, but that's besides the point. This is all so bloody ludicrous. **

**Promise me, Lily, that you will NEVER let me go after anyone more than half magical, because if I am forced to use a twenty tome family tree to compile my wedding list thing. . .I will combust into tiny little mutilated Em pieces I will send them (or have them sent, since I'll be dead and all) to you in a small box so you can look at it every day and feel guilt and shame.**

**On a lighter note, I've heard from Marls and she'll be joining out rendevous. Madam Malkin's on August 16th, noon.**

**Toodles,**

**Em **

Emmy is an enigma. A small, wiry, tempered, powerful, if a bit eccentric, witch.The eccentricity comes from her father, she says. Once I had met Mr. Vance, I couldn't help but agree and add bipolarity to the list of traits they shared.

However, this letter puts me into a much better mood. Em always brightens the day. Whether through her muggle item experimentation, ("Well, I'm going to marry a man at least half related to some muggle, so I have to know how this stuff works. I'll figure out Kleenex, and I definately won't be setting it on fire anymore.")

A bit quirky, and a pyro to boot...but Em was Em. Em was sunflowers and sparkly quills and the color orange and citrus mixed with black coffee. Spunky, eccentric, mad. But we're all mad...haven't I gone over this before?

Marlene is mad too. She's her own special brand of mad. She'd have to be the mature, opinionated sort of patient person who could make us shift our feet in embarrassment after a deed of dirty revenge was pulled. Then the next moment, she would grin like a maniac and crack up.

Now don't get me wrong, she's not strict or anything. Not even close. The silly girl is prone to flights of fancy and is the greatest procrastinator I know. But sometimes she has this kind of insight...I don't know. I've always thought she was forced to grow up too fast. She's like the older sister I never had. (Yes, I'm aware I have a sister, if you'd call her that, but hush.)

She's my pillar of strength if you want to got as far as labeling her. Sensible and once again: patient. Bit her temper is **_HELL_** to deal with. She's lost it so rarely that when she does. . .the flares of her raw rage burn and lash out. It's wicked awesome but also very scary, especially when she has a wand at hand...If Em is citrus and coffee, Marlene would have to be vanilla and blueberries.

Listen to me, making scent and fruit analogies. But I told you...we're all off our rockers. Me the most if you insist, but I have long since learnt to deal with it.

Lastly, I was left with a letter from Remus in my hand. Remus, Remus, Remus. Godric, I can't think of anything that describes him, but hey, I've rarely spoken eight words to him in the four years I've known him. (Hmm...two words per year..."hello" and "goodbye" I suppose.)

So why was holding in my hand, a thick letter, from none other than Remus Lupin? Hey...there's something bulky in here!

Upon opening, I find my prefect badge as well as a letter from Hogwarts regarding my prefect-ness. Why does Remus have this? Gasp! Unless! He's really McGonagall in disguise...but that's stupid. Nevermind, I just found a short letter from Lupin. It can't even be considered a letter...more like a note, really.

_**Hello Lily,**_

_**It seems Dumbledore accidentally sent me your letter as well. Congrats on getting elected prefect. I did too.**_

_**-Remus**_

See? That is completely note-like. Well, that explains it. I'm a prefect! I could kiss someone I'm so happy. In fact...I just kissed Napkin. Poor own, now he's just much more confused. He pecked me sharply and flew to the top of my closet. I suppose it reminds him of the owlery up there.

* * *

**AN:** So, what do you think? Good, bad, horrible? Do you suddenly feel an urge to pick up you pitchforks, or perhaps...review?

This is my first fanfic in a long time, so, don't be unnecessarily brutal. I'm not sure if and when this will be updated again. This was a sort of spur of the moment thing, but I like it. It seems much easier to write that my past big fanfiction, so I might not give up on it. Review, please, the reviews really _do_ help. They keep me going.

I do not have a beta reader yet (hint hint)so please bare with me and my spell checker. If anyone has ideas or suggestion, don't hesitate to contact me. Email and aim listed in my profile.

-**W**ired


	2. Overelaborate Plots for Dramatic Escapes

**Disclaimer: The Wonderful World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing but the plot and Lily Evans' literary voice and attitude. I don't own Disney. It owns itself, as well as a bunch of other companies we may never think it does.**

**

* * *

**

**A L**ook** A**t **W**onderland

_**b**y** W**ired** D**ragonfli_

**C**hapter **T**wo - **O**ver-elaborate **P**lots **f**or **D**ramatic **E**scapes

1 day until I see Em and Marlene and normal people.

16 days until Hogwarts.

160 days until my birthday. (That took a while to figure out…)

77 days until Halloween.

132 days until Christmas.

3 hours until Lily Evans gets fed up with the rest of the Evans clan and runs away.

5 seconds until Lily Evans becomes fed up with countdowns and stops.

There is only so much a redhead can take until (oh god, I swear, if I see or hear the word "until" one more time I will scream) she does something completely stupid that she will regret later. Therefore, one has to prevent the problem with proper intervention.

First, one will annoy herself with stupid unnecessary list-making.

_Check._

Then she will over-elaborately plot her dramatic escape while watching soaps on the telly and eating lemon flavored wafers she hates but can't seem to stop consuming.

_Check._

Third, she will switch the channel and see a Russian tennis player break his racket while attempting to hit his opponent with it.

_Check_.

Now, I know you're not supposed to do that in tennis. For Merlin's sake, even Em would have been able to figure that out, and she hasn't taken muggle studies a day in her life. Which she should, really, considering that her husband will be part muggle.

Lily Evans' To Do List:

1.) Pack.

2.) Clean Napkin's cage.

3.) Leave _The Monster Book of Monsters_ in Tuna's pillowcase.

4.) Take a shower.

5.) Finish HoM essay.

6.) Get a life, thus giving myself ample amounts of things to make "to do" lists for.

7.) Leave Mum and Dad a goodbye note before making my brilliant escape.

* * *

Dear Mum and Dad,

I have been kidnaped and held ransom for 2,567,892,362,999.3 Yen. They told me to tell that if you ever want to see me again, you are to phone the old, abandoned warehouse on the dock. A man will answer with:

"Hello, is this the Easter Bunny?"

At this point, you will breath heavily into the receiver three times and say "Please Hold" before hanging up.

Wait precisely five minutes and thirty-two seconds before calling again. This time, _you_ will start conversation with :

"Mr. Oldguy, your deliver of Arabian ducks came in, would you like us to keep them cold for you?" At which he will reply:

"My elephant lost his shoe."

You ask, "Left, or right?" and he will answer.

Left: Drive by the Smith's home and throw the money into Benji's doghouse.

Right: They have already killed me in impatience and you have to come by and pick up my dead, decaying body.

With Love,

Lily

I struggled at the top of the fence for ten minutes before falling into my backyard again, and realizing that:

1.) This running away thing will never work.

2.) I have no idea how to get to the Leaky Cauldron.

3.) My parents don't deserve the shitty note I left them.

4.) I'm particularly fond of making lists today.

But alas, I'm insane. That explains it perfectly.

I sat in the kitchen, sipping orange juice, when Petunia came home. She jumped five feet and hit her head on the doorframe, hissing "What the hell are _you_ doing here?" the moment she saw me. Then she glanced into the backyard to make sure no one had seen her collision with a piece of wood. Finally satisfied, she shut the back door.

I snorted and offered: "I live here Petunia."

"No you don't," she said airily, "You just visit once a year. If anything, you live in that..._freak house_."

I rolled my eyes. I really didn't need nor want to deal with this right now.

"Yes Petunia, I am a freak, and I live in a freak house along with my freak friends, and we all learn freakish things that only freakish people like us can freakishly learn." I said, boredly, already writing another note to my parents, "Does that cover everything?"

"I–you–wha–?" answered the potato sack.

"Good," I said casually, "Tell mum and dad that I left early and took the bus to Em's house and that I'll see them next summer." and with that, I pinned the note to the fridge with a magnet, stuffed the insane one into my pocket unceremoniously, and left with my luggage through the front door.

Petunia stood there with her mouth hanging open stupidly as if she had forgotten to breathe. Maybe she was appalled to the point that she _did_ forget to breathe. I wouldn't put it past her, she tended to get hung up over stupid things like this. I just shook my head sadly and shut the door behind me.

Once out in the open, I sighed, very surprised with myself at acting so maturely and cooly in the situation. I slipped my wand out of my sleeve(I know it's going to fall out one of these days but I just can't help the stupid habit) and looked at it fondly, remembering the day I got it. Ten and a quarter inches, willow.

I remember Mr. Ollivander, he'd used a very corny phrase when my wand and I found each other. "A Charming wand for a charming young lady," he'd said. All I had done was mutter an embarrassed thank you and grin and grin and stare at my wand like it was a piece of the stars. It might as well have been to me in that precise moment.

Ugh, listen to me, going on about wands...I must sound like the biggest dork right now. So anyway, I walked a few feet until(there's that word again, I suppose I have to scream now...oh dear...the decaying, wrinkling, bus-driving bus driver is looking at me strangely) I came to the curb. Pointing my wand into the air, I felt rather stupid.

Em had told me about the Knight Bus two years ago, and right now, I dearly hoped it existed. The last thing I'd need would be to have to go back into the house and admit defeat for the second time that night.

"C'mon!" I muttered, and as though it heard me, the bus suddenly flew out of thin air with a series of bangs, and launched itself at me. I shrieked and jumped back. Glaring at the bus driver, I got on.

"Where you off to, miss?" he asked, tipping his hat over his _extremely_ creased forehead and smiling with his rotten, twisted teeth.

I winced and quickly chirped "The Leaky Cauldron" before running off to the back. And here I sit, curled up in the corner on a stiff bed, glancing at the bus driver, who keeps giving me maniac glances, then out the window. I'm starting to think that this whole leaving thing was a bit too brash and hasty(Is brash even a word...if it is, I doubt it was actually used right...) and I feel all the courage drip away and I'm left with nothing but a deep unsettled feeling in my stomach and I feel like an idiot.

It's so dark outside...maybe I was stuck on that fence longer than I thought.

Gah! He touched me! The old icky twisted rot-mouth touched me.

But I'm over-reacting, and being rude...which I wasn't raised to do. Really, what do I have against that man. Am I really that shallow to judge him by his looks? Have I always done this? Why am I only realizing this now.

Then again, he does look frightening. He scares me, but I'm off the bus now. And him poking me is alright, since he was waking me up. Good, there, calm down Evans. There's a good girl.

I always fall asleep at the wrong times. Really, now I won't be able to get to sleep for the rest of the night. If wandering Diagon Alley were an option, I'd take it, but silly old me would probably be scared off by a tea cozy at this point. Of course, I could go off into the Apothecary and get a sleep potion, but it smells like cabbage in there, and I hate cabbage.

I know lots of people dislike it, and wouldn't want to eat it, but I mean I absolutely _abhor_ it. I have an irrational hate of cabbage. First off, the word is disgusting! Just saying it, ugh..._cabbage_. Really, even putting a French accent on it won't help. Cab_a_ge.

Merlin's Beard! Listen to me. Talking about cabbage. First about wands, now about cabbage! Do I really have so little of a life tat I am forced to go _on_ and _on_ about cabbage and wands?

Whatever, maybe I will go down to the Apothecary for that potion, it's not _too _far off from the Leaky Cauldron. If it keeps me from talking about cabbages and wands...in fact, I'll get a dreamless draught, to keep me from _dreaming_ about cabbages and wands.

* * *

**Emmy's House **

**August 16 - 3:23 PM **

Yes, I did just write the date, time and location of Lily Evans at the time that she is writing in her journal. It was all Marlene's doing, I swear. She made me do it. Threatening me with a fly swatter...devil's advocate.

Merlin! Now she's hitting me over the head for writing that. But she is the devil's advocate, really she is. Marlene's a stickler for grammar things like this. She hates anything with no heading. I bet she's swatting me for extra measure to make up for all the times I didn't date my letters to her this summer.

Godamnit! That girl does not know when to quit.

There we go, the fly swatter is not on the floor broken into two pieces. Serves her right. I just hope it wasn't Em's. With her, it's probably some rare Tibetian fly swatter.

I suggested to Marlene that we hide the swatter before Em comes back from dealing with Barkin, their resident drunk. Of course, he's a house elf so, two bottles of anything will get him wobbling. I really don't know why they keep him. Not only does he _never_ do the work, but they still keep paying him in butterbeer.

Em says he's kept for amusement purposes, apparently, last week he got up on roof and startedsinging all of _The Screaming Banshees_' greatest hits. They couldn't get him down for four hours. Of course, that's because only Mrs. Vance was attempting to. Emmy and her dad were just standing there laughing. Sadomasochism, add that to the list of traits they share as well.

Speak of the devil, Emmeline Vance has just strolled into her room with five batches of popcorn in her arms.

"Hope you like popcorn," she offered as an explanation.

I cocked an eyebrow in response. Marlene took a bowl from Em and promptly began to stuff herself.

"Well Barkin–" she began.

"Barkin' Mad is more like it!" Marlene managed through a mouthful of poporn. I started at hersudden outburst, but she was already distracted. She scooped up another handful and counted out the individual pieces before shoveling _that_ into her mouth.

"–was drunk," Em continued, "And fancied that my mum asked him to make some popcorn for the Polish Army...and I'm sure you can figure out the rest."

I choked on a kernel laughing.

"We now have an entire dinning room, kitchen, and pantry's worth of popcorn." she finished.

I was still on the floor, choking on a bloody popcorn kernel. Of course, no one bothered to pat my back, or help me in any way, shape, or form.

"I propose a contest to see who can fit the largest amount of popcorn in her mouth." Marlene piped up randomly.

I snorted, which sucked the kernel into my stomach, but launched me into a coughing fit.

"Lily, are you alright?" Marlene asked, in what would have been a concerned voice. I just glared and proceed to hack my lungs, and half a spleen, out.

"I second the motion, and in case Lily does disagree, after all, she now seems to have had a traumatic experience with popcorn, she will be over-ruled..._so_...I propose we begin once Lily has composed herself." Em said brightly.

"I second the motion!" Marlene McKinnon said, with a wrygrin on her face.

I sat up, gave a small cough and crossed my arms in front of my chest. Em pushed my bowl at me, and gave the signal to begin.

* * *

**Emmy's House **

**August 16 - 8:46 PM **

I will never, ever, ever, _ever_, agree to another one of Marlene's contests. I should have know. I should have the the first day I met her, when I nearly fell into the lake when coming to Hogwarts for the first time. She dared Em and me to try to summon the Giant Squid. ("The winner get to...uh...choose her bed first!") Lame prize, but I had heard a lot on the train about bed bugs. Trust me, they were _scary_ the way the older students described them.

Sadly, I was the winner, and almost got dragged into the lake by the squid. I'm not as pathetic around my friends as I appear to be. We've _all_ had our fair share of embarrassment.

Right now, I am so full, I could cry. I have not moved for three hours. We watched a bunch of lame Disney movies. The Princess series in particular. I _hate_ Disney. Everything is so commericalized with Disney. All they give you is the sugar coated shit. Why is it that the witches are _always_ evil? Or more specifically...why are all the powerful evil people witches? That shows you how accurate Disney is.

We started a long debate on how stupid the movies are. Nothing like that ever happens in real life. You don't see your prince, once, and fall in love, get sent halfway to Pluto, and have him track you down and rescue you. First, women aren't that pathetic. Second, you can't get sent halfway to Pluto, because I'm sure that's just open air...or lack there of. Third, love/like/crushes, do not work that way. We all wish they did, but they don't.

These movies only make me depressed. But hey, I'm young, I shouldn't be worried about any of this right now, right? I feel like a blimp right now. There is soo much popcorn in me, if the Polish Army did, indeed, need sustenance, and they had only my body to rip open, they would be able to retrieve enough popcorn to feed their militia doubly. Gross concept but, yet, it works.

Okay, imagining Polish peoplecutting my stomach open, while exclaiming wild Yiddish phrases(It is the Pols that speak Yiddish, right?) does not help my full estomago(Spanish for stomach). Must go puke now. They'll have to fish around in the plumbing if they want food, 'cuz they sure as hell aren't slicing me up. Either that, or turn on Emmy or Marls.

Marlene read the "Polish-army-cutting-me-open" bit and now has to use the bathroom as well. We'll prolly be fighting in front of the door for the next hour before just vomitting all over each other.

Oh godric. Someone shut me up. Take the quill away, quick! Next thing you know, I'll be describing castration in detail.

* * *

**A/N:** Tada! I actually posted. This chapter starts out with a bit more fun. You get to see Lily's relationship with her friends, as well as her flaring temper. Most of this chapter has made her out to be a bit ditzy, but really, aren't we all at one point or another? ;

Tell me what you think of this lighter tone in the story. I'm not going to be writing the rest of the story in this style, but it won't all be angsty, flaming, unadulterated, critisism on Lily's part, like most of chapter one was. It'll be switching off as my moods change, which really does reflect how teenage girls write.

I realize that the second part of this chapter may be completely mistake-prone, since I wrote it in quick-edit, and ask you to not kill me in case you're all grammar Nazis...which I doubt you are. I type the story on my Mom's laptop, and she needed to take it to work with her today, so I uploaded it into document manager at 1 AM last night, and was to lazy to copy it into Word.

To my reviewers. WOW! OMG! Seriously, I love you all. This is the largest amount of reviews I've gotten for any chapter...EVER! Really, I love you all, 5 tier chocolate cakes to all.

**Rainbow Fuzzlez:** You get the coveted, first reviewer award. Thank you for your comments, really. I'm glad you love it. And I did update quickly, just keep reviewing, and I'll keep the chapters coming. You're lucky I got my best friend hooked into this story. Really, this is a fanfic she will NOT let me ditch.

**Chaserchick4sirius:** Thanks! I'm glad you liked the way I described Em and Marlene. I was sure everyone would kinda be confused about the whole scent references. And you faved my story...after one chapter. You do not know how insanely I am squealing right now. Thanks so much!

**Daniel Clark:** I am relieved that the story got such a good reception so far. My first fic drifted off, and so did my reviewers, so I was kinda timid about posting this one. After I hit the "creat story" button I was like "Oh my god...what the fuck have I done?", the whole story was spontaneously written, and posted, and I really wasn't sure if I would post another chapter, but reviewers keep me going so much. Really, they are the life line to my stories.

**Bridget:** Hi, I like your name, it's one of my favorite names, but, that's a weird comment so...moving on. Thanks for the nice review, really,it means a lot. The fic prolly won't be cheerful 100 of the time, as real lives aren't like that, but, since Lily's personality reflects my own(for the most part) she can't stay mad at any one for long, or stay upset for too long unless someone has done something _really_ bad.

**Moonhawkpebbly:** You are so sweet, thanks for the review. I am glad you deemed my fic worthy of straining youself and pushing the button, as that is the thing that keeps me from reviewing most of the fics I read. I am an extremely lazy person. I'm glad you were able to connect to Lily. The more people that can sympathize with her, the better they'll be able to understand the story. I hope I didn't keep you waiting to long, but remember, reviews keep me going hint hint.

**Clueless Bystander:** Thank you Elli. I'm happy you love it. I hope I updated soon enuff. I must warn you, I am v. terrible at updating things and keeping them up to date. I hopefully won't lose interest in the story. But if I do, feel free to harass me on AIM or MSN/email, the contact info is posted in my bio.

**yellowcard-1991: **Thanks for the review. I'll try to keep up a regular updating schedule, but I am, as mentioned above, a terrible idiot at updating.

**Vanessa-Black and Zabini:** Ha, you should have seem me while writing the chapter. I think i spelt pompous five million different ways before easing it in aggrivation and not using it for the rest of the chapter. Shucks, I don't write well. I'm sure you can write as well as me, if not better. Honestly, just put you thoughts down on paper, no matter how stupid they seem. They'll appear so much more amusing to others than they do to you. And since you asked so politely, there's the chapter.

**Lennie(lol):** Ms. Perfect...my ass. I do _not_ write as well as Jo. Hellz naaw, dawg. (Remind me NEVER to press ctrl + n again, it opened a new window and I had thought I lost over 5 pages of writing without saving. Gave myself a heart attack...godamnit!) I seem to surprise you with my writing a lot, eh? It hurts, you know, that you don't put any faith into my writting...yep, it hurts..._right here. _(Haha...Yanik)

**Please Review! The purple button is calling you. "Review! Push me, push me!" it says...can you hear it?**


	3. Butter Cream Bosom

**Disclaimer:** The Wonderful World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing but the plot and Lily Evans' literary voice and attitude.

* * *

**A L**ook **A**t **W**onderland

_**b**y **W**ired **D**ragonfli_

**C**hapter **T**hree – **B**utter **C**ream **B**osom

**Em's House…**

**August 31, 7:00 PM**

We are procrastinators. Never question that. It is the day before school starts, and we only just got our supplies.

I couldn't sleep last night. I thought I heard someone hammering in some other room. It kept me up until two, when I realized it was just a vein throbbing in back of my ear. But it _really_ sounded like hammering.

So we got up in the morning, had toast and a popcorn ball (we still haven't run out of popcorn), and flooed to diagon alley. Barkin was too predisposed to prepare an adequate meal, so in less than an hour, we were hungry again.

Off we went to Florean Fortescue's. I'm not going to bore you with details of how long the walk there seemed. I'm not going to tell you that I counted every brick in the alleyway. At some point I did not doze off and get stuck on the number 304. Oh dear, it seems I contradict myself.

They have the best ice cream and Fortescue's. It's magical after all. I just let out an "mm…" and Marlene looked up, startled. She's on Em's bed, sketching Emmy with her new quill. I snorted, as Marlene has an amusing ink blotch on her chin, where she rests her fingers when deep in concentration.

That girl always has held the quill too low. Her fingers are perpetually inky. Marlene just shook her head at me and ran a hand though her hair. For Marlene, that expresses a sigh. She has never liked sighing though; she has a strange opinion that sighing is a vulgar noise. However, her disappointment at me (Marlene hates my journal. When she got a journal I told her never to write in it and leave it for the house elves to find. She stupidly followed my suggestion. And now, here I am, writing in a journal, being a total hypocrite.) was overlooked as she got ink in her hair.

Emmy glared at me because I laughed and is now looking through potions to remove the ink. I could get it off with a charm but, No! We aren't allowed to use magic outside of school! I hate that rule…hey…that kinda rhymes.

Um…back to the story…right.

So we are sitting at the table having a perfectly fine time when none other than James Potter wanders in with Sirius Black in tow.

"Marls! Da_h_ling!" Sirius sang, enunciating both words too much.

Marlene rolled her eyes but smiled. I narrowed my eyes and my gaze darted between both of them. I noticed that Marlene started to pay attention to Sirius a lot at the end of last year. She usually hated guys like him, but after being partnered together in potions last year (where their potion blew up while they were arguing and attached them at the hip for two days) her views of him seemed to change a lot.

Sirius slid into the seat and wrapped his arm around her waist. Emmy choked on her ice cream, and all I could do was pat her back and remember my near death experience with that popcorn kernel and gape. Gape…not grape.

Marlene gave a sickly sweet smile and disentangled his arm from her waist.

"Sirius, doll, how nice to see you." She deadpanned.

"I am _not_ a doll," he scoffed, and at that point I tuned him out. Turning to James, I nodded in greeting, as that was the only thing I had the concentration to do.

I have had a crush on James Potter since second year when he made chaser on the Quidditch team. Yes, Lily Evans is extremely shallow. Isn't everyone though? I always noticed that he was cute, but during first year, I was more focused on becoming adapted to the magic world.

But I said crush, as in; I think he's cute, as in; I don't think he would ever be boyfriend material, as in; I would never go out with him, or vice versa. In short…eye candy, nothing more.

He smiled and slid in next to me. Em was in the middle of the group, still sort of choking. At this point, I was only half patting Em's back, half of my pats landed on air. I realized this and stopped, before scooting over and making more room for James.

We had sat down pretty spaced out, us three, that is. So James had sat down pretty awkwardly, barely fitting his bottom onto the cushioned chair. He eyed the stack of books in the middle of the table.

"Do you guys always drag your books around everywhere…?" he asked open-endedly.

"Oh please? As if we'd buy this crap earlier than today." Marlene replied in a mock annoyed voice.

Em was still clearing her throat of coughs, and I sat pathetically staring at my ice cream. I noticed Marlene squirm out of the corner of my eye. Sirius was poking her now, grinning widely.

"It seems someone has taken to you quite well Marlene," I said, in a teasing voice.

"Yes, I'm afraid so…he's like a lost puppy I can't get rid of."

Both Sirius and James grinned (In Sirius' case…wider) at the mention of "puppy", sending each other what was supposed to be a significant look I believe.

"Marlsie-poo, you know you love me." He said in a baby voice, pinching her cheeks.

"I suppose so, in a strange, demented sort of way," she said snorting, yet smiling all the same.

I giggle and wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. James chuckled a bit and smiled at me. My heart flipped a few times before I reminded myself that I don't get worked up over guys.

"What's that supposed to mean Marlene?" Emmy asked quietly from behind her ice cream. I voiced a "yeah".

"It means," James explained, "That Sirie and Marlie are going out."

Both Em and I stared open-mouthed at Marlene, expecting her to deny it right away.

"Oh please," she began, giving us hope, "What's with all these stupid nick names?"

Ha…that made it official. I still sort of gaped before turning to Em and grinning.

"What?" she asked.

"You owe me five galleons."

"That's a bit random…what for?"

"I bet you that she liked him at the end of last year. Here's the proof." I said smugly.

Em blushed in frustration and reached into her money bag to draw out the aforementioned sum. This coaxed another chuckle out of James. He looked up at Sirius and said: "I'll go get us ice cream, and leave thee with thy lady for a while."

Off he went, me staring after him. Em poked me in the shoulder and alerted me that my butter cream was dribbling off my spoon and onto the table top. Both Em and Marlene were aware of my crush on James Potter. Em has read over my shoulder and informs me that I sure do write about James a lot, which is ridiculous since I mention either her or Marlene more than Potter.

She also comments that she doesn't know how I can spend so much of my time writing in that thing. I explain to her that the journal works as a sort of pensive, and the special quill that comes with it works as a wand of sorts, so I'm not actually writing anything out.

While Em is left to ponder that, I will continue with my retelling of the occurrence. So Potter came back, and resumed his seat next to me. He got a butter cream as well.

"You like butter cream too?" I asked, somewhat surprised. He had been a bit of a prick the entire time, and him liking my favorite ice cream would definitely give him some brownie points.

"Well, I haven't ever actually tried it; I just watched you and you seemed to enjoy it so much…that I decided to try it for myself."

"By God! A butter cream virgin!" I sort of squeaked.

My remark must have been very high pitched, since Em, Sirius, Marlene, and a few other tables in our vicinity stopped talking to stare at me.

"What? He's never tried butter cream before…" I offered, blushing all the while.

Marlene rolled her eyes, and Sirius openly laughed at his friend. Em's gaze rested on us and she pointed her spoon threateningly at James.

"You'd better try it before Lily shoves the bowl down your throat." She said very seriously.

"Are you serious," he asked, before wincing at the pun he walked into.

"No he is," I said, pointing at Sirius…I couldn't resist.

Sirius looked up and glanced about, as if that would catch him up with the conversation. Soon, he became disinterested and began bugging Marlene again. While this happened, James had taste-tested the ice cream, and was now scarfing it down like a pig.

"Slow down or you'll get brain freeze." Emmy said, and I nodded in agreement.

He lifted his spoon to point it and her and say something, but ended up launching a bit of ice cream at me. I retaliated by lifting my own spoon and flicking ice cream at him. It landed in his hair, which must have really pissed him off since he scooped a handful of butter cream, and smeared it on my shirt.

"Oops…" he said, in a very false, and very not "oops" voice. All I could do was gasp.

And he didn't just run his ice cream coated hand across my shirt, he rubbed it in, making sure his hand brushed my rack no less than twelve times. I finally regained my senses and slapped his hand away, before dumping the contents of my bowl down his pants. I was nice enough, though, to do it in the back. He jumped up and screamed in coldness. I laughed.

"Food fight!" Sirius proclaimed, before grabbing his own chocolate ice cream and throwing it at the nearest person, which happened to be the manager who came out to see what was going on.

And that is how we were kicked out of Florean Fortescue's. I gave James a deadly look before stalking off. The last thing I heard was Em giggling as she struggled to catch up. When questioned about it later, she said that James had said that he'd "See me tomorrow, butter cream bosom!"

Marlene caught up with us at the entrance to the Leaky Cauldron, her lipstick drastically smeared and faded.

* * *

**5th Year Gryffindor Girls' Dorm Room**

**September 1st, 9:37 PM**

The moment I got onto the train I shrunk my trunks and left them with Em and Marlene, and went off to the prefects' compartment.

While wandering around aimlessly (I had no clue where the prefects' compartment was) I happened to stumble upon my short-note-writing friend Remus.

"Heya Remus!" I greeted, waving tentatively.

"Hi," he said, hesitantly but brightly.

"Well," I began, after a really, really, pregnant silence (as in, "my-water-just-broke" pregnant) "I can't seem to find the prefects compartment; you might be able to help me in that department."

I resisted the urge to yell "Hey, Look! That rhymes!" and waited for his response.

"I'll show you the way, but let my drop off my luggage first, okay?" he said, offering a timid grin.

I returned an awkward smile myself, and off we went. This time, the silence was a bazillion times more bearable.

Herein we reached the compartment (or however you use herein). Inside I found Sirius trying to climb into Marlene's lap as she read a book, Emmy inching as far as possible from Peter, who she was sitting next to. James and Peter were trading chocolate frogs cards.

Seeing me, James grabbed Marlene's book and covered his face. I could still see his black hair sticking out from behind the text book.

"James Potter," I scoffed here, and Marls took her book back, "As if hiding your face behind a text book makes you unrecognizable. Do you really think I'm that stupid? Or perhaps you're under the expression that I'm blind?"

James laughed, and dared to ask me:

"So, you're not mad at me for the butter bosom thing?"

"Your stupid, immature comments don't affect me."

"Okay then…" he said, somewhat blankly "What's up…butter cream bosom?"

I barely held myself back from hexing him half way to Halloween while he grinned moronically. It's interesting how it is so much easier to be mean to your crush than to be civil.

It must have been at this point that I developed a tick at the corner of my left eye (which is plaguing me, right now, as well) Instead, I rolled my eyes and leaned against the doorframe.

Remus put up his crap, and we left. The meeting was boring. Everyone expects Lily Evans to be the bright, rule loving, straight O student that they hear about from various persons. They don't seem to comprehend that there is more to me than smarts.

Eventually, I _had_ to go back to the compartment…to my woe. The moment I came in, James opened his mouth to say something.

I meant to say, "Don't even start, Potter," but the sun hit his hair and it was so shinny. He also has these enticing, deep, rich eyes; chocolate brown with a mix of hazel. I stared at them for a few minutes before he spoke and woke me form my reverie.

Since I never uttered the phrase, he did start. He never stopped. At some point, I asked why we were in _this_ compartment. Marlene said that there were no more empty compartments. But I bet that she secretly just wanted to be with Sirius and not deal with his friends alone, so she dragged us along.

Soon Black joined in with James' barrage of pointless questions.

"Pass me a chocolate frog, butter cream bosom?"

"Oh, butter cream bosom, do you happen to know the time?"

"Hmm, it seems my shoe has landed next to you. Would you mind giving it back… butter cream bosom?"

"Are we there yet butter cream bosom?"

"Butter cream bosom, will you please give me my shoe back? Really."

"Tell Sirius he doesn't deserve to get his shoe back butter cream bosom."

"Tell James to shut it, butter cream bosom, won't you?"

At this point, I was picking lint out of my pockets, trying to determine if I had enough to stuff into my ears and block out their endless droning.

To my relief, I didn't, because I wasn't quite fond of the idea of sticking lint into my hearing cavity.

Hmm…but I can always stick it up Potter's and Black's noses when they're asleep. I heard one needs the nasal cavity to speak. I supposed I could just jam it down their throats, but becoming mute by lint up the nose is much more of a humorous idea.

With these thoughts in mind, I left the train laughing. The other six looked at me like I had lost all my cauldron cakes (akin to losing one's marbles) but quoting Lewis Carroll (again)…or more specifically…the Cheshire Cat:

"We're all mad here!"

* * *

**Later…**

I just realized I never wrote about the rest of my evening, and my anal-ness prompts me to do so.

Feast. Marauders snorting their food as means of digestion. Black braiding Marlene's hair. Em upsetting the milk jug. Firsties being sorted. Leading said firsties to Gryff. Tower. Writing. Peeing. Sleeping. Waking up. Being anal. The End.

* * *

**A/N:** Yes, I know…I'm horrible at updating…can you ever forgive me? Yeah, of course you can, because James is in this chapter. I decided to make Lily act around him the way we all do around guys we have crushed on, either shy and quiet and unmoving, or spontaneous and snappy, or both at the same time. 

My wonderful reviewers. I love you all. Now let's see how much _you_ love _me_. I need to know if J.K. has classified any of the Marauders as specifically pureblood, or half blood, or muggle-born. Mostly Remus and Peter. We all know James and Siri are purebloods.

**Crazyandpsycho:** Lol, I hope you didn't hurt yourself. I'm glad you like the story. Sorry it took so long to post.

**Vanessa:** I'm sorry I had to make you wait too long, but I hope it was worth the wait, since I put James in, as per your suggestion.

**Kel:** Love the rest of your name, Mrs. Glucose-dude. I put Nate in there, you know, with the book thing…and maybe a few more…I dunno. Nice sn.

**Yellowcare-1991:** Aww, thank you for the compliments. I think the updating as soon as I can takes too long, but hey…better late than never, right? It's great that you like Lily's character. I was afraid she'd come off waay too "mood-swingy-PMSy".

**Crazy turtle:** This chapter seems much more serious, and more focused on dialog, where as the first one was mostly on Lily's thoughts (that's why she sounded so smart) and the second about her antics in the face of boredom (which is why she was a bit ditzy…we all do stupid thing when we're bored) We're slowly being introduced to Lily's character, hopefully, she doesn't come out seeming bipolar.

**Tweeny-weeny:** Updated…tada! I hope you'll like the mixed atmosphere in this chapter too. Read above review response for an explanation as to why Lily's personality is so mixed up.

((44 words less of 3000...wow...it seems my chapters are getting longer **REVIEW!** They really keep me going with the story. _Are you that lazy that you won't click a friggin button and type "I love it! Update soon!" I'll even let you copy and paste that as long as you review!_


	4. I Don't Fancy Smelling Like Whiskas

**Disclaimer:** The Wonderful World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing but the plot and Lily Evans' literary voice and attitude. I don't own Whiskas ™.

* * *

**A L**ook **A**t **W**onderland

_**b**y **W**ired **D**ragonfli_

**C**hapter **F**our – **I** **D**on't **E**njoy **S**melling **L**ike **W**hiskas

**History of Magic  
**

**October 5, 11:32 AM**

I know…

I am the most horrible person ever…

I deserve to be cooked in frog spawn and served to trolls.

What can I say? Its OWLs year, I'm a prefect, and I lost complete interest in writing in this shortly after I arrived at Hogwarts…but let's not dwell on the past.

They've decided to turn the Halloween feast into a masqurade ball, 4th years and up. This is like those trashy romance novels where the girl meets boy at masqurade ball, they fall in love, and don't want the night to end, lest they never see each other again. Alas, the end of the night comes and they unmask each other to find that the person before them is their best friend/worst enemy/crush/best friend's boy friend/friend's brother/etc.

Then they ravish each other in a small cramped closet or bathroom and live happily ever after.

Only this won't happen to me as I don't have any of the above except for a crush…and the fact that I am me and my chances at love are completely abysmal. No, it's alright, you don't have to feel sorry for me. I am content with the life of a spinster-ish martyr. Then again…I'm not so sure about keeping millions of cats and smelling like Whiskas ™.

We (me and Em and Marls…I mean Emmeline and Marlene and I) stayed up last night in the girl's loos till 3 in the morning (though how is this morning also last night?) playing dominoes. We played the tedious kind where the first person to hit 101 loses, except we changed it to 10,000. The closest any of us got was me (I kept drawing from the pile when I already had the one I needed) with 5,369. Em managed a zero all through the first thousand.

Ha, I haven't written in weeks and when I do, you get a play by play on a domino game…that was the longest time I have spent in the bathroom…even. To add to our fun, the loser of various rounds had to get into the tub and crow like a rooster.

My God! What is it with people reading over my shoulder? In the past five minutes I have been told:

I spelled masqurade…masquraid—oh fuck it—wrong (Remus)

I write messily whan attempting to copy History notes at the same time, and to solve the problem I should stop multi-tasking (Marlene)

And…

"So that was you crowing at one?" (James)

…

I can't believe we're still learning about goblin rebellions…what is this…the _fourth_ year we've gone over this? At this point I just top my notes with "Goblin Rebellion" and I'm fine…of course…I will be screwed when I attempt to convince them (the OWL people) that the great riot of what's-his-name's-puffskein was actual a goblin rebellion. That is all I will ever learn and remember in this class…that learned about four years worth of goblin rebellions.

…

Em just commented that I make a lot of useless lists. That's it! I'm done for the day.

* * *

**Girl's Dorms**

**October 29, 8:17 PM**

A Hogsmeade weekend is coming up, which is the perfect time to purchase costumes for the masque ball. I should look into taking French. That language has been overused and slaughtered by me. It deserves to have time devoted…to itself…by me.

I need to shave.

Also, I've developed a rats nest at the base of my neck which I've been gathering into a ponytail and disguising as sleek, healthy hair. I need to detanglefy it.

Em wanted us to go as fairies, Marlene wants to be a gothic ballerina (another one of her flights of fancy) and I…don't know what I want to be. Maybe something elegant but daring? A steel blue dress with hot pink add-ons? I'd be better off trying to charm a napkin into a dress (and have it disappear half way through the masquerade..I can spell it now!) then attempting to find a dress that suits me.

Yeah, I know, too many parenthesis up there, and your mind is boggled from trying to figure that out. To bad, life's a bitch, you get over it.

Ooh…maybe I'll change my hair into a purple afro…dreadlocks? Mullet? Mohawk?

Em is in the corner crafting herself some fairy wings. She's enchanted them to change color subtly and to shimmer prettily but that's as far as Em stays interested in Charms. Em can prettify and unique-ize things (is unique a French word? I bet it came from one…it sounds French.), but as far as making things flutter and fly…

Marlene already has a dress picked out. She's working on ruffling it and giving the silky material the consistency of crushed velvet. Her shoes are black, lace up ballet shoes…"point" shoes she called them. Right now she's transfiguring the top part of her dress to become a corset…as if her boobs aren't big enough already. That girl sure likes pain, wanting to wear a corset for no reason.

Me? I'm brewing a potion to change the color of my hair. Marlene is keeping an eye open for any mistakes I make. That girl as talented at multi-tasking.

**October 29, 8:47 PM**

I couldn't pick out a color, so I'm making Marls dark maroon hair dye to streak her hair with.

"Marls, what do I need to add to the potion for burgundy dye?" I ask.

"My dress will have dark turquoise lining so add two teaspoons of powdered nightshade and after five minutes, add two drops of the clear liquid you found necessary _not_ to label." She replied without looking up.

"How do you know I'm making this for you?"

"Burgundy clashes with your hair, and we both know that Emmy is going to go glitter crazy on her hair and hates dark red." She said, still focused on her dress.

I did as she told me, still in awe of her ability to pronounce all of her response without choking on her tongue.

I wouldn't even be asking her for help right now if it weren't for the fact that I was horrible at potions that needed an outcome of varying colors and flavors. I could never remember what ingredient went with which color or scent.

Emmy threw down the wings in frustration and walked over to her jewelry box(bloody hell, it's more like a treasure chest) and started rummaging through it. I added the last two drops of fluid and capped the cauldron and placed it on a shelf next to three fresh, unwrapped copied of _Hogwarts: A History_.(none of us wants to brave the book yet.)

Marlene is now adding pretty blue material as her lining. She's getting much more done that Em and me put together. The Hogsmead trip is tomorrow, and the Masquerade on Sunday, the day following tomorrow. Marlene was planning on helping Sirius choose his clothes so they could match.

I took up Em's wings and tried to make them flutter. Emmy uttered a "thank you" as well as a promise to help me pick out my dress and do my hair and makeup.

Five minutes went by in silence before Emmeline exclaimed that she had found something and presented Marlene with earrings and a necklace that matched the pretty blue lining of Marlene's dress beautifully. Marls smiled happily and hugged Emmy. Emmy hugged back before continuing to look through her stuff.

Eventually, I got the spell right and got the wings to flutter softly. But now they won't stop and it's bugging everyone.

Marlene finished her dress fifteen minutes prior to this…it's gorgeous…(and I wonder why she wasn't put in Slytherin(which the hat wanted to put her in(can I use to many parentheses?)) as she stole the dress from her cousin, and manipulated Camille(a 6th year ballerina) into letting her borrow ballet slippers(definite signs of slyness and cunning)) and everything matches perfectly.

Another five minutes after the wings first fluttered Emmy had found us all matching sets of jewelry. Mine are green as Emming wants my dress to be as green as my eyes. She is now making us masks. Marling went to shower and I am slipping on my PJ's and going to bed.

"I'm going to start calling you Marling and Emming and you can call me Liling." I said as Marls came out of the bathroom. The towel she was using to dry was snapped at me and I shut up.

**October 30, 12:04**

But I'm still gonna call them Marling and Emming.

**October 30, 12:07**

And they have to call me Liling…

**October 30, 12:37**

"I can't fall asleep…"

"Lily, shut up…"

"But you're supposed to call me Liling…" Pout, pout.

"Fine! Liling?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up!"

"But the wings…" whine, whine.

"No…hush!"

**October 30, 1:12**

God's knickers! Those wings are annoying!

* * *

**Girl's Dorms**

**October 31, 5:01 PM**

Em is a genius. She was right about the green dress.

"Em, you're a genius. You were right about the green dress…" What can I say? I'm out of original thoughts and synonyms.

"Of course I am…" said the genius, who was now cutting inches off of her dress's hem. Well, actually, it was a sort of upside down triangle for the bodice, except an obtuse triangle, and there were deep slits on the sides, and the rest of the skirt was pretty much a bunch of gauzy strips.

My dress is all Eqyptian like. It is a light green that goes with my eyes, and all the edges have an inch thick golden border. And the v-neck goes down to my belt, with beaded strings holding it together. The belt reminds me of those wrestling prize belts, it's huge, but pretty. It is folded over itself at the bottom, and ends up having a slit down the middle. The sleeves are very long, but they're off the shoulder, held up by more golden beads.

Em almost made me get a dress that was modeled after a peacock. It was pretty, but _much_ too wild for me. Peacocks are peculiar creatures. The males are smaller and prettier than the females…well…I guess it's supposed to be make up for their "peacocks"

Marlene, who is enchanting my dress to a darker shade (it was light, yellowy-green) tells me that James is rubbing off on me…and I think she might be right as I _completely_ took that statement with a v., v. wrong mindset. Marling is finished with my dress and is taking down the hair coloring potion.

"Ooh! Wait! I'll do it!" I exclaim, as it _was_ my potion…_is_ my potion. This, many things happened at once. I jumped up and snatched my cauldron from the table where Marls left it. Marlene slipped into her dress, and Emmy pushed Marlene into a chair and started applying make-up.

I gave a laugh of excitement (some people shriek, some people piss their pants, but no, Lily Evans has to laugh like a moronic maniac when she's excited.). I put my wand tip into the potion and drew up some blue dye, then going over to Marlene, I brutally pulled her hair-tie out and started streaking her hair in a manner that seemed very professional to me.

Once that was done, I curled the ends of her hair, framed her face with thick bangs that revealed just enough of her face and screamed "GOTHIC!" I tied some back with ribbons that matched her shoes

"Em, you've dribbled the mascara too much…I look like one of those posers!" Marlene said exasperatedly, eyeing the expertly smudged mascara on her cheeks, "next thing I know, you'll be drawing slit marks on my wrists."

"Oh hush you," Emmy said, silencingly. I took this opportunity to use lip liner and draw the aforementioned slits on her wrists.

"Lily!" Marlene hissed. Em sent a glare her way and went back to work. I stuck out my tongue but Marling didn't see as she was too busy rubbing off the fake wounds on her forearms.

Emmeline Vance is passionate about beautifying. She knows fashion, and she knows hair and make-up. It is her fort_e_ (again…me and my pseudo-French). She knows she knows it, too. Right now I'm sure she's amused by Marlene's frustration, because in the end, she'll be right, and Marlene will look hot, unique, and genuine. Though I'm sure one of those contradicts another.

Done with Marlene's hair, I put on my dress and heels (once white, now charmed emerald green) I was doubtful about the v-neck of the dress. It was much too violently exposing, and I wasn't sure that the beads would hold it together. Being a bit stupid, I started trying to rip the two sides apart, but they would not come apart. Very relieved by this, I turned to Marls, sure that she was behind the super enforced beads.

"In case some pervert starts too get too friendly," she said, with a wink and a smile.

I also had a golden eye mask thing. It was the same gold as the borders on my dress, with emerald rhinestones on it. I was admiring the faint Egyptian runes on it when I found myself pulled backward and into the Chair of Doom! Both girls assaulted me with all kinds of beauty products, and charms and what not.

I was surprised Em's make-up didn't melt; she was working so hard. Not that I'm so ugly I need to be worked on so much. Then again(no, I am not going on about the subject of my ugliness, not that I'm ugly), Em had gone for and airy fairy look.(Eew…it rhymes. I've been rhyming things to much, and am annoying myself at this point.) Her blonde hair was completely curled, all she needed to do was dress.

**October 31, 6:08 PM**

My hair has a green streak in it, my hair is wavy, and silky and soft…and has those kiddy fringes all the Egyptian queens were wild about…_and_…I'm late. Yay!

Emmy's dress was too short, so we charmed it so adults wouldn't notice. Marlene forgot she was wearing a mask and was about to ruin the mascara stained cheeks, but we pit the eye thingies on a stick and now she just incorporates it into her costume by swishing it lavishly as she "ballets" down the hall.

Emmeline makes a perfect fairy, and the wings look awesome, with their shimmery color-changedness. Her dress is a classic sleeveless bodice in light pink. She is wearing light pink fishnets, and her skirt strips are variations of pink and orange. She is going barefoot. Not surprise. Her mask it really pretty, it is all transparent and yeah, a pink and orange gradient, pink in the center, orange on the edges.

Have to go now, arevois. (yes I know…FRENCH!)

* * *

**Entrance Hall **

**October 31, 6:23 PM**

Marlie and Sirie are over…

I would be sad if I weren't so terribly happy. Once again, I'm horrible…need I make another frogspawn and troll reference? But see, Marlene isn't so sad about it…at least she's not acting it…if she were crying, I wouldn't be able to tell…because of the raccoon eyes…and I mean that in the nicest way…the raccoon eyes comment…yeah.

It started the moment we got to the dance. Well, it was in the entrance hall right _before_ the dance. The Marauders decided to go as stoners, James and Sirius were _barely_ pulling it off, and I only say they were because well, I know them, and can't be rude lest they read over my shoulder one day when I'm bored and going through old entries in this journal.

Peter, god…Peter was a train wreck, and what a train wreck, packing 500kg…and gaining weight as he walked. Honestly, he inhales fatty food like a train does coal. Sirius approached Marlene wearing no shirt but an Indian vest thing, tie-dye glasses that spun and made me dizzy, and a peace medal on his forehead. He was wearing pants that were _waay_ too baggy and cut off mid-shin to make way for stockings with pink horses on them.And the shoes?

Platforms, what else?

James had come with bug-eye glasses, a hat he must have stolen from the mad hatter, and a huge rainbow shirt, and a kilt(!), and fishnets, and platform shoes as well.

Remus was much more toned down, wearing dark colors and looking genuinely misplaced in all aspects except the bags under is eyes. He looked almost rockstar-ish. Peter was wearing what looked like a huge tie-dye dress. I won't go into detail.

He had a clown afro! Okay…shutting up now.

Marlene. Was. Furius. Ick, that's a play on words there, and it sorta ruined the sentence, let me try again.

Marlene. Was. Furious.

Sirius was not wearing what she picked out for him…and he greeted her in a way that obviously made her blood boil.

"Marlene, chill man…"

She quirked and eyebrow and started walking right at him, only to bump into him violently and walk to some Ravenclaw dressed as the phantom of the opera.

She did it in a classy way, and started flirting with him in a strangely dignified manner. I could barely flirt, much less make it look dignifies. Go Marlene!

Sirius's swirly spectacles could not hid the look in his eyes: "What'd I do?"

Emmy leaned into me and whispered "Diggory looks pretty lonely, I'm going to keep him company, okay?"

I grinned at her and watched her go off. Once I was along, James seemed to make a bee-line for me. I instead grabbed a chair between a bored Remus, and a sulking Sirius. James pretended to have been heading off for some blonde girl. I pretended not to care.

Do you know what's sad? This all happened before the dance, in one minute. You know what's sadder? I was late and I still didn't really miss anything. You know what's the saddest? I shrunk this book, stuck it behind my belt, and brought it with me incase I got bored…What is wrong with me? Oh my god…I just saw my reflection in some girls compact…is that blonde hair?

* * *

**Prefect's Bathroom**

**October 31, 9:51 PM**

Turns out, the teachers were casting a charm on the room so that no one would recognize anyone of the opposite sex for the night. They kept forgetting who they were and what they were doing there so alas, it took so long.

All I know is that, thanks to my trusty book, I knew exactly who most people were…I made a list of them on the back page while waiting for the doors to open. Marlene and Sirius, however, weren't as lucky (I wrote licky…) and couldn't get back together all night, and by the time they somehow found each other, they were so jealous they just stomped away.

Em has ditched Diggory and is now standing with Marlene and me. After filling them in on who the Marauders were, we were all glaring at them. They were coaching Sirius and trying to get him over Marls or something, but they kept shooting looks at us. Finally fed up, I grabbed my first drink from the punch bowl and headed towards the doors.

My two groupies, ha, followed me, quizzical looks in their eyes.

"I'm going for a swim in the prefects bathroom, you can come too," I said, as we passed by the Marauders. I heard a snippet of their conversation.

"Sirius, don't drink that—"

"I'll drink what I want, Peter!"

"But I spiked it with fire whiskey…"

"You did what?"

"James, quiet…"

"Moony, sod off. Now Peter, generally, when one spikes the punch, one tells his friends before they all take drinks out of it."

"Bloody idiot."

And then we left, out the door, and everything became clear again.

"Looks like the idiots are having a fight," Marlene snorted. She was pissed, but she was not depressed. Since she wasn't pissed at us, we wouldn't be getting any tongue lashing, so we were all fine, more or less.

A few hundred feet, and lots of avoiding chaperones later, we were at the prefects' bathroom.

"Chicken nugget," I muttered, and the door opened. Once our trio had disappeared inside, we closed the door and promptly forgot to lock it.

Marls retreated to the taps and turned on chocolate bubbles, vanilla flavored water, mixed with a bunch of lavender stuff. She gave a groan as she slipped off the painful "point" shoes, and dipped her feet into the water.

Once the water was full, Emmy dove in, and I water-repelled my dress and jumped in as well. Within moments, we were having a water fight, and Marlene was looking down at us scornfully.

Everything seemed normal until the three idiots walked in, sans Peter. I_ think_ sans means without.

"Oh crap…" said James.

"What, Jamesie? Not happy to see me?" said a flat voice belonging to me.

"No…I err," and we never found out what he meant because at that moment, Sirius chucked his glasses onto the floor and stomped on them repeatedly.

"That's not going to make me take you back," Marls said icily, and Emmy started laughing so much she choked on the water. I'm surprised it wasn't me, as I usually fulfill the role of choking on things.

I tried to save the drowning Emmy as Sirius approached.

"You know what Marlene—" and we never found that out either as Marling threw her darling into the sparkling….water. Okay, I admit it…I like to rhyme.

Then, they started this stupid sissy water fight where both of them had they're eyes closed and were splashing in the wrong direction. Marls with her feet and Sirius with his powerful quiddy-toned arms.

I waddled over to where James was sitting, his feet dangling in the pool. I submerged and grabbed one foot and pulled. However, the platform shoe came off. I grabbed at the other foot and that shoe came off. By then, I had given up holding my breath and surfaced.

"What are you doing?" he asked calmly.

"Stealing your shoes…" I said so seriously that it was funny. It was the truth but it was said so absurdly that we both started laughing. I climbed out and sat next to him, pulling off my heels and handing them to him. "Knock yourself out…"

The platforms were heavy and waterlogged. After tipping them over and pouring the water out, I slipped them on and wiggled my feet. I got up and tested them out, walking over to where Remus was arguing with Sirius, trying to hold him back from pulling Marls into the water.

"Sirius, it's your own fault for acting like an arse, stop trying to drag Marlene into the water!" Remus said, keeping a mad(crazy) Sirius back from the gothic ballerina, and this was in the water, where both of them kept slipping.

I tried to recall when Remus got into the water and shrugged. There were yelling so loudly the whole castle should be awake by now.

"_Shit_!" I muttered loudly, before running in the platforms for the door. At the last moment, I slipped and fell against the door, but accomplished locking it. However, I was stuck in that position and the platforms were slipping.

James ambled over in my heels, and somehow helped me up. How the hell was he not falling all over himself in those heels?

"How the hell are you not falling all over yourself in those heels?" I asked, once again, being unoriginal.

"Well," my crush said, stroking his chin, "I've been wearing platforms all night, so you see, I'm used to them."

In the background, there was a loud splash, a muffled yell of "wanker" as Marlene was finally pulled into the water.

Must I mention that both Sirius, Marlene, and Em consumed an abnormal amount of punch and cumulatively, a heck of a lot of fire whiskey.

James pulled off my shoes and sat down, leaning against the wall. I sat down next to him again, and knocked the heels of the platforms together.

"Do you have the time?" I asked sleepily, it must have been fairly late…

"It's about…one in the morning," James said, squinting.

"So we're stuck in here until morning," I said quietly.

"Hey guys! If you want to stop fighting for a second?" James yelled. I looked at his gorgeous brown eyes and got lost.

Meanwhile, the other four stopped fighting and looked in our direction. Emmy let out a really lowed giggle and started singing under her breath. It sounded suspiciously like the muggle rhyme…

"James and Li_ly_, sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G…" and then she drifted off, leaning against Marlene and laughing herself sick.

James quirked an eyebrow and continued, I looked away from him and blushed. "We're going to be locked in here till morning, because the masquerade probably ended by now, and teachers are out patrolling the halls. Obviously, if you want to get us all caught, go on with your fight."

They all seemed to get the message and shut up for the most part. Remus went to sleep in a corner, Emmy continued swimming, and Sirius and Marlene were bickering under their breath, still in the pool.

After a while, everything went black and I entered dreamworld.

* * *

**  
**

**Dorms****  
**

**November 1, 5:32 AM**

I woke up nestled against something very warm and cuddly. I didn't want to get up at all. The floor was wet, and someone was nudging my foot.

Then, cold water was dumped on me and I jolted up, away from my comfy…something and gasped in shock.

"Lils, you realize it is Monday, and we have class today?" Emmy asked in a panicked voice.

"What?" I questioned sharply.

"Yeah, so stop snuggling James and get up. It would help if you opened your eyes." Came Marlene's voice of reason.

"Ah, I see the whiskey wore off…" I retorted, but I got up and opened my eyes. Sirius, Remus, Emmeline, and Marls were standing before me. James was only just sitting up. James had been my pillow.

I blushed a very bright red, and grabbed my heels and walked off with no word to anyone, I opened the door, and looked out.

"No one out there," I mumbled, then waved for Marling and Emming to follow me, not even _daring_ to look back.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay…sadly, we're not allowed reviewer responses, and I'm lazy, so I shall thank thee and stuff. 

I had major writers block, as you can tell since my last update was back in…april. Ha…sorry about that.

I drew Lily's dress, since it was confusing, and well, if you want to see it, a link will be up on my profile today or tomorrow.

Please review! begs

Thanks to: **crazy turtle, Vanessa-Black and Zabini**, **tweeny-weeny, **and** Mrs. Glucoseman.**


	5. I Wonder What Flavor He Is

**Disclaimer:** The Wonderful World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing but the plot and Lily Evans' literary voice and attitude.

* * *

**A L**ook **A**t **W**onderland

_**b**y **W**ired **D**ragonfli_

**C**hapter **F**ive – **I** **W**onder **W**hat **F**lavor **H**e **I**s

**Double Potions**

**November 1, 9:05 AM**

Currently, we are all in our second hour of potions. That's right, all of us.

How is it that the people who I want to avoid the most at this moment have to be in every single one of my classes?

Oh right, we're all Gryffindors, silly me, how could I forget?

I have been having bad luck since a few hours ago, when I woke up on top of James. Sound familiar?

And don't take that in the wrong context, please, I'm already hitting my head on my desk repeatedly.

The moment I entered class, I found that my seat was in between Sirius and James.

What the hell?

See, this wouldn't be a surprise if it weren't for the fact that my seat is usually between Marlene and Emmy, who are sitting four rows behind their respective seats.

"Why in bleeding hell aren't you in your seats?" I hissed the moment I made my way over to them, cowering and ducking under my books.

"Well, you see, my sweetheart has it in his head that last night was a dream and insisted that he would be sitting in my seat, and I on his lap. Then Potter came in and took your seat, Black told him that that was your seat and shooed him away. So Potter moved into Em's seat, and Black told him to get the heck out of there, and them Emmy came in and told him he could have her seat, and sat here, I followed and well, here we are." Marlene said.

Once again, how she manages _not_ to stumble all over her words…

"Miss Evans, I would be very much obliged if you took your own seat."

Oh bleeding shit, it's the fat bastard. Bleeding slug of a man…

I gave a low growl and dragged my feet over to my seat.

"But Marlene and Emmeline aren't in _their_ seats," I muttered darkly, however, Slughorn loves me, and has placed me in the front row of his class since second year. So, of course, he _had_ to hear, and of course, Sirius _had_ to respond.

"You see, Lilykins, we want to enhance our understanding of potions for the OWLs, you wouldn't want us getting Trolls, do you?"

"Well actually…" I said, drifting off threateningly, but Slug was already charmed by Sirius's wit, and I was stuck there for all two hours of double potions.

Joy…

Double Joy…

I hoped that we had some complicated potion to get me through without being bored…but alas…it _was_ complicated, and required the addition of a properly made Pepper-up potion, as this was a Cheering Potion. The only people who had progressed on the Pepper-up Potion last time were James, Sirius, Snape and me…

I mean I.

So, I was done, Snape was done, and soon James and Sirius will be done, and the rest of the class will be laboring over their shitty Pepper-up Potions for the next hour and a half.

I was sitting, twiddling my thumbs when suddenly, the sky grew dark and lightning thundered overhead. The rain came down like a waterfall of bullets and the roof was ripped off by a very strong wind.

Really?

Of course not…

…but there was a pecking noise at the door. Emmy's owl, Godzilla flew in the moment Sluggy opened the door. I know what you're thinking, why do our owls have the stupidest names?

I don't know either. It is, however, one of the things that brought us closer together. Marling's owl is called Bullshit, which is kind of a cool name. Marls named him during her rioting phase when she went about the house yelling curse words. Her parents let her and eventually she grew out of it.

Now Marlene winces whenever she sees the owl, and calls it "Bullet" instead. It's close enough to his real name so he responds well. I don't think the poor owl can tell the difference…and yes…he's brown.

So in comes Godzilla, charmed lime green. The real color of the lizard was too ugly for Emmeline. He lands on the desk with a package and Slughorn looks flustered.

"It's from my dad," Emmy responds, and Slughorn immediately shuts up. He likes Em's father, because Em's father is famous for inventing some spell. It might have been some "purity-of-blood" tester, but I think the Black's made that one up _centuries_ ago.

She opens the package and there sits a bowl of popcorn. We three raised our eyebrows before shooting nauseated looks at the popcorn. Em takes out her father's note and shows it to Marls…I frown.

It's hard to frown, really it is…and while I was concentrating on frowning, Em had looked up, seen my unhappy expression, and thrown me the note. It hit me on the head and I uncrossed my eyes (they do that when I look at something without seeing it because my mind is elsewhere. I know my mind is else where…I left it in the punchbowl last night, I know I did.) and picked it up off the floor.

Un-crumpling it:

_**Em,**_

_**Mwahahahaha.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Dad**_

And underneath it, a note from Em.

_Why the ugly expression?_

I shot her a look and scribbled a response. To my right, Sirius unfolded a very ratty piece of parchment and shoved it at James. It was written on…a lot.

I never knew Black could write a lot. I've seen his essays…he copies a paragraph each from the other three Marauders. The intro from Remus, the second paragraph from James, the much overlooked middle paragraph from Peter, and then again from James, and the conclusion from Remus.

Obviously, this is not an essay, and it looks like black wrote it, all the words are short. I tossed the note back to Em and watches as James read Sirius' note…it didn't take long. My pillow wrote back and slid it over to Sirius, who commented as well.

Back and forth both notes went, before finally, I grew fed up with _their_ note and got ready to steal it away. At this moment, Slughorn came to check on Sirius, and he left the note unguarded. I snatched it and stuffed it into my bra, before looking back and catching our note before it hit me in the eye.

"Whoa, Evans, you should look into the position of keeper on the Quidditch team," said a very sexy voice.

My heart and stomach did a gymnastics routine and my cheeks flushed…and flushed…and flushed some more.

I could feel my ears go red and I was glad that my equally red hair was covering them. I did not respond.

"I'm hurt…really…we spend last night together and you ignore me?" he said in a throaty voice. A very _loud_ throaty voice.

Slughorn looked up from his desk and I flushed even more, if possible, and sank in my chair.

"Don't you dare mock me…" I muttered.

There was a silence and Slug lost interest. I was about to come back up when James leant in from my left and whispered into my ear…

"I wouldn't dream of it…"

I almost whimpered and I had to bite my lip from doing so. How pathetic am I? I mean, a guy…my _crush,_ just whispered in my ear, is that any reason to get all blank and fuzzy, and have a buzzing sound in said ear?

_Yes! Yes it is!_ Screams a part of my brain. I tell it to shut up and it sticks its metaphorical tongue at me…or is it imaginary tongue. Or perhaps a mental tongue, though mental tongues are usually mad tongues that go crazy when French kissing and…

I wonder what flavor he is…

Oh my god…my face went pale with mortification, I can feel it. I stared at the offensive statement for a good few seconds (it had ingrained itself into my vision before Remus tapped me on my shoulder (he was sitting behind me) and commented.

"You spelt au revoir wrong," he said, pointing to my entry from last night, at that moment, this entry was not yet visible as I was not done recording it.

Sirius decided to check too and peaked into my book.

"Yes, it's terribly wrong…" he said unnecessarily.

I clutched the journal to my chest.

"Aha!" the long haired prat went on, "It probably has a smutified version of yesterday in it,"

And he smirked, just like a Slytherin. I am sooo telling his mommy…if she doesn't murder me for being a muggle-born. He's trying to pry my book away!

"How would you like it if I read _your_ personal stuff?" I hissed. Now whose being Slytherin-like? I am so much better than him. I can smirk _and_ hiss.

"You don't fool me Evans. I saw you stuff our note into your bra…" again, that smirk, "or were you groping yourself?"

"I was just thinking of you Black, you sexy beast," I purred, then hissed a bit, and then I smirked. Oh yeah! I rock.

"Black? You offend me, Lily dear. But I always knew you felt something for me…"

"Yes, I do," I said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "pure disgust."

The last part I said quietly before slowly tipping him over. He fell off his stool and I uttered an innocent "oops" before corking my potion and labeling it "Cheering Po.—Lily Evans".

I handed it to Sluggy, who was passing by after seeing that our table was not at all brewing potions.

"Alright you three, stop your flirting and start on the homework!" he roared.

"What homework?" Sirius asked from his position on the floor.

"_That_," he drawled, flicking his wand on the board where an assignment appeared, "homework."

Sirius groaned and asked his dear mate to help him up, James was silent for a few moments…and then he fell out of his chair. Apparently he had laughed himself the point where all his coordination flew off, never to return again that period.

"Fuckers…" I muttered under my breath, opening my book and getting started on reading. "Am I supposed to fall off too? Oh great, a new trend, fall off your stools everyone, it's the best way new way to get out of your class. Warning: To produce any affect make sure to hit your head on the way down, side effect may include severe bleeding, a cracked open skull, bruises, broken bones, and in some cases, death or vegetable-ization."

"What's that Lily?" Remus commented from behind me.

"Nothing," I muttered again, waiting until her turned away, "fucker."

* * *

**Ancient Runes**

**November 1, 1:35 PM**

I can never, ever, ever show my face ever again. Then again, I will _have_ to, everntually…but I really don't want to.

It starts with the note…that stupid note? Why did I take the note? Do _you_ have an explanation for my stupid actions? Of course you don't. You're an inanimate object…magical, but still inanimate.

You know how I said that Black wrote a lot? Yeah, well that was his novel. That's right, Sirius Elephaba Black wrote a novel. His mother really is horrible; his middle name is her first name. I have taken the liberty of sticking the note in here. While that happens, I will be hyperventilating over here.

* * *

**Little Black Book**

**_The Serious Chronicles: Sirius Intentions_**

I, Sirius E. Black, will first apologize for the horrible puns. Second, I will mention that I am god's gift to women and if you need some fun, owl me at _Gryffindor Tower, Landing 5, Boy's Side._

Women…are like cookies. They taste very good, they are warm, and they have things inside them. They are very soft and moldable and you can easily break them. You can never have to many, and if you exercise enough, you can them as often as you like without any lasting body damage or extra baggage.

Once you are done with them, they are gone, and you can get another one. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, but the bigger they are, the harder they are to tolerate, and the longer it takes to finish with them.

They're tricky though…sometimes they go cold, and it takes some charming to warm them up, and if you're not very good at charms, it doesn't always work. They are all the same, essentially. They get broken up after you finish with them and come out looking like shit.

Sometimes they hide away at the bottom of the bag of teenage girls who are like cookies, and you have to go though the others to get to the best. Other times, you have to ignore other cookies to make that one cookie feel special. Sometimes, you have to eat another cookie and make the cookie you really want feel jealous. Um…actually you don't really do that with cookies, but it is a very good tactic with women.

Unless it's Pamela Pierce, who decided to get over you the moment you are committed to anyone for over thirty minutes. Even dating her worst enemy won't make her change her mind, instead she spends five hours crying in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

Sometimes your cookie will hate you, and will hide from you, and then you really have to chase after her…if you really think she's worth it. At some point in your life, there will be that very special cookie that you need to have to cherish and hold, and nibble at sometimes. That cookie will make you do very stupid things, and say stupid stuff when you think you're being cool.

And…you'll be very sorry, and you'll want to apologize, but the cookie will be so frustrating that you will start fighting with it and getting it even angrier until it hates you and never wants to see you ever again. It hurts the most when you had the cookie and then it ran away from you…

_-A Novel by Sirius Elephaba Black-_

**Sirius, you realize, past the fourth paragraph, women really have nothing to do with cookies?**

_Yes James, I do, now I would thank you not to criticize my work as I am going through a very hard time._

**Why do you put yourself through this every time, honestly, after every single girl you dump, you act like a dead man for a day and then you ask someone out and on and on, the cycle continues?**

_It entertains me, Prongs, it entertains me. You should try it sometime…ah yes…I forgot, you've only got eyes for your cookie._

**Can you stop with the cookie references? **

_So you don't deny it!_

**Deny what?**

_That you have you an obsession with Evans…_

**I don't have any sort of obsession with Evans.**

_Please, I've seen you look at her in class, I hear the patheticicity in your voice when you talk to her._

**Patheticicity is not a word.**

_Is so…what are you, Moony? And you do Prongs._

**And if I do?**

_I dunno…I didn't plan the confrontation up to this point. I thought it'd take you longer to admit it._

**I didn't admit anything.**

_Sure you didn't._

**Technically, I didn't.**

_In this time and age, there is no need for technicalities._

**Oh, shove your cookies up your arse and sod off.**

**

* * *

**

Okay, I think I'm breathing normally now…oh my godric. Oh Merlin….oh Merlin…oh bleeding Merlin. A lot of things are "bleeding" today, aren't they.

Holy shit…holy shit…holy shit. He likes me…

Well, he didn't admit it but there is a very strong possibility. However, he didn't seem so distressed about me getting the note…so maybe he really wasn't admitting anything so he had no reason to worry about me reading something he didn't admit.

And what's this about Sirius…does he miss Marls? James commented that he does this with every girl. According to this, by tonight, Siri is going to have another date. Maybe if I rip off the comments and show the rest to Marlene…

No, she'd get all upset over the chauvinistic cookie references; the shit reference was particularly horrible. How about I rip that part off too?

Marls probably dealt with his pig-headedness before, and she can deal with it again…but I can't get her hopes up, that'd be horrible, and then seeing him going out with another girl the next day…

I'll wait until tomorrow…but Marls will probably be all stubborn and refuse to get back together or something, even if she misses him. I'm not even sure if she does…she should but…it's Marlene we're talking about…I know I saw her flirting with Fabian Prewett in the great hall today.

If you can't tell, I'm trying to avoid the subject of James possibly liking me, wouldn't want to get _my_ hopes up. There's no way that getting _that_ cookie was this easy. Sirius is pretty relationship savvy, so he might be right in his assumptions…then again, you can't put it past him to be a complete pillock, and be totally wrong.

That is why I am going to do nothing about it and continue being my almost self around James. If Sirius let's me…I bet that's why he let me take the note…first, so I can show it to Marlene, and so I can discover James' hypothetical feelings for me.

I am really starting to wonder how stupid he really is...

* * *

**Great Hall**

**November 1, 7:20 PM**

Dinner is served.

Sirius has some blonde bimbo on his lap, and Marlene is sitting on the other end of the table and having grapes fed to her by Fabian…and Emmy is sitting with Diggory.

I…am alone…eating and writing in my journal. James is four seats to my right. Remus is next to me, talking. I think he felt sorry for me, and thus, made the Marauders sit with me.

I don't need their pity, I am perfectly fine alone…being a hypocrite. I scorned all those girls that wrote in their journals, and here I am, scribbling furiously in mine…well not furiously…and I'm not scribbling…

Curse you Samantha Daniels.

"You see, they keep doing the stupidest things in class…there should be a list of things you shouldn't do in class…" Rem continued, which gave me an idea.

"Remus, would you like to join me in compiling a list of those things christened '101 Things You Should Never Do in Class'?" I asked.

"Why not?" he said, cracking a wolfish grin.

* * *

**101 Things You Should Never Do in Class**

1. Shag…

2. On McG's desk.

3. Start a drinking game where you take a shot of Ogden's Old every time Binns says "Goblin" or "Rebellion" and two shots when they are used in the same sentence. Three if next to each other.

4. Recite spells backwards.

5. Make potions starting with the last direction and ending with the first.

6. Swap wands with your complete opposite.

7. Crawl on the floor and flip everyone's book bags out.

8. Charm a romance novel to look like the potions book and put it on Slug's desk.

9. Insist that you need to hear the rest of the story once he accidentally reads it out loud.

10. Ask about your professor's life story.

11. Ask if they were teased when they were in school.

12. If yes, point and laugh.

13. Get the rest of the class to point and laugh.

14. Repeatedly bang your head on your desk during exams.

15. Levitate large unnecessary items onto the teacher's desk.

16. Constantly call the professor's by their first names.

17. Scold them using their first names.

18. Copy notes by repeating everything they say right after they say it.

19. Answer their questions with a question.

20. Ask stupid questions relating to Divination in McG's class.

21. Call McG "McG".

22. Ask for advice on your love life in the middle of a lecture.

23. Have a sudden need to go to the Hospital Wing anytime anyone else does.

24. As you leave, mutter to the other person "I've got you just where I want you now."

25. Talk to yourself during tests and give away answers to anyone in hearing distance.

26. Fail at everything you do and claim you only did it so you could be tutored and feel special.

27. Eat food in class and offer some to the professor whenever they comment.

28. Take to writing long letters and sending off your letters by owl in very boring classes.

29. Pass notes very obviously, but charm them so whenever a teacher intercepts it, it has nothing written on it.

30. In response to a question you don't know the answer to: " insert teacher's name , I am your father."

31. On phrase: "It's Voldy! Duck and Cover"

32. Twirl your wand and lose control, causing it to fly across the room and forcing you to disrupt the class with muttering to slowly go get it.

33. Do it again.

34. Fill in every answer on an exam with "57, sir".

35. Hand in the a different classes essay for homework and make the teachers figure it out.

36. Complain and bother them until they take back the fail they gave you for #35

* * *

At this point, Em and Marls came over and we went off to sleep, I shot a glance at James before I left the Great Hall, he was looking at me and I blushed immediately. He saw this and winked. I am pitiful. I am a rueful, travesty of a girl. 

But the bimbo up Sirius's arse is even worse.

* * *

**A/N:** Stop the press, I updated twice in the same month, within a week of my last update it. GASP! 

Last chapter was received very well, and hopefully, so will this chapter be. I put in what James felt about the pillow thing, he's denying it had any affect on him. Thanks to **Angry Girl** for the idea. I also corrected Lily's au revoir (Thanks **crOKed-aura**) error with the help of Remus, the handy dandy human dictionary.

And a whole load of thanks to the rest of my reviewers…you don't know how happy I was to see so many reviews. To new readers, I hope you like this chapter as much as the rest.

**xoxox-slightly-obsessed-xoxox, The World is a Stage, Moonhawkpebbly, Amy Neemits, Angry Girl, superfly, Magnolia Star, croOKed-aura…**

**I LOVE YOU!**

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**and check the LIVEJOURNAL, the link to which can be found on my profile, where I will constantly be posting updates and status of _Wonderland_.**

_-Wired_


	6. Nancy Something or Other

**Disclaimer:** The Wonderful World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing but the plot and Lily Evans' literary voice and attitude.

* * *

**A L**ook **A**t **W**onderland

_**b**y **W**ired **D**ragonfli_

**C**hapter **S**ix – **N**ancy **S**omething **o**r **O**ther

**November 4**

Sirius and I had always been…friends in a way. He was the one that pulled me out of the lake after Marlene's contest first year. He has always been a person to flirt with when class gets very boring, and that fact that he is v. hot doesn't hurt.

Apart from Marls and Em, he was one of my closest friends year one through year three, then, he discovered girls and really had no time for anyone _but_ his best friends. I understood in a way, of course, I spoke to him occasionally, usually with a pout set on my face and a voice mean and scolding.

He wasn't kidding when he said it hurt that I called him Black, it hurt me when he referred to me as Evans. We were just so close to being best friends, and then it was all lost on girls. Then again, Sirius was just an outgoing, loveable person who everyone was friends with.

It's not his fault some of the idiots at this school believe that he is god's gift to women…he's only mentioned it enough times. Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon share a flakey attitude toward life. If anything looks interesting, they dive into it head first, if it stops amusing them, they move on to the next thing they see. It might be ADD, but their obsession with things lasts a longer amount of time than ADD victims…patients?

That why they bonded back in fourth year, like I said, they were stuck together at the hip for two days. They realized that they had a lot in common, and slowly, their friendship became a relationship like no other. They were both passionate, and both known for the long chain of broken hearts trailing behind them.

People thought volcanoes would explode and the world would come to an end when the two hooked up. After all, before the end of fourth year, every comment hurled at each other were often insults and were always said much louder than they should be.

Two days with a person really wears you out. The Marauders weren't about to leave Sirius to be picked apart by Marls and her cynical view on everything. We weren't about to let Marlene set him on fire again. (Like I said, her temper is hell to mess with)

I got to know James more during that time, and I guess that's when I really developed my crush on him. Those two days spent with them bickering, were often met with my snappish comments (I am short tempered if you can't tell), and James' knack for making the situation worse for them every time they fought.

Marlene did not take a proper shower once in those two days, and neither did Sirius…but Marlene is a very delicate person when it comes to her schedule. It has been set in stone, since she was five, that she would take a shower at six thirty in the morning…every morning.

It almost killed her, so on the second day, we shoved them into the tub in the prefects' bathroom. (Thanks to Alice for the password) She sputtered and shrieked, but in the end, she was very calm because her ritual was fulfilled.

They slept in the common room, or attempted to. It was very complicated to fall asleep with someone stuck to your hip. Marlene could only sleep on her back or sides, and Sirius couldn't fall asleep anyway except on his stomach, and I suspect, that there were to sleepless nights as they both had abnormally large bags under their eyes. I also suspect that they spent most of the nights talking.

In the month that followed the botched potion incident, our trio was always found with the Marauders. I spent most of my time teasing Sirius and James, and never quite warmed up to the other two Marauders. Sirius and I got to talk for once in a very long time, and James and I got to know each other a little, but never enough to do anything but flirt. I never talked to him about deep subjects, like Tuna and her idiocy, or the impending doom that was Voldemort. All our conversations skimmed the surface and that's it.

I had a habit of forgetting to eat lunch. I'd usually be sitting under this one tree near the lake, or in the common room, or the library, finishing homework for a class I had directly after lunch. That was me, procrastinator extraordinaire. When I did finish, I was often to lazy to go get food, and Marls and Em would come out after getting their and sometimes bring me food, if they noticed I hadn't been in the mood for breakfast that morning.

I had gone three days without breakfast and lunch. I always ate dinner because dinner was just dinner. At home, if I didn't spend any time with Tuna, mum, and dad, it was always made up for at dinner. Still, Emmy was immersed in her time with Diggory, and Marlene was going into a relationship with Fabian Prewett head first. The only time I saw Marlene(except in classes) was in the morning, waking up to her form of an alarm clock, a shower going off, and at night, in the common room doing homework, or coming in just to sleep.

Marlene always did all of her work on the weekend. I don't know how she managed it, but she did. She was very precise, and while most of her life was freestyle, she did have small part of her life planned and written into a schedule that she followed without fail.

She is a morning person, she gets up at 6:30 AM everyday, even if she only had one hour of sleep that night, and at those time, she takes the liberty of being very grouchy before falling asleep in her breakfast, HoM, in her lunch, and always in the pumpkin juice jug during dinner.

I go with the flow, I never wake up on my own, but once that shower goes off an steam spills into the room from under the door, I am awake and up and not grouchy at all. But left alone, I will not leave the comfort of my cocoon until water is poured on my face and I am awake. At night, I rarely ever get to sleep, and it takes me up to two hours to drift of into dreamland.

Emmy likes her sleep. She loves to sleep. Even when not tired, she takes a nap under the tree at lunch to feel rejuvenated. Me and Marls can't take naps…it just goes against our atomic clocks or something. Emmy is very grouchy in the morning, it lasts though the first class of the day, where she always falls asleep and gets away with it. Mostly because we are such good friends and magic her eyes to look open. We just complain that she is very depressed in the mornings and the teachers believe it. I believe McG is onto us, so on days when we have Transfig, we just have to deal with Miss. Bitchy until her lunchtime nap.

Just like I haven't been eating lunch or breakfast for the past three days, Emmy has not been taking her nap, and Marlene has not been there to nag us about it. My friends have abandoned me for boys…just like Sirius.

I am a friendless wench, with no love life to keep her interested. My only friend is this journal. Marlene will not be out of her Fabian phase until he goes out with her, and she, or he loses interest. Usually it's Marlene first; even with Sirius, she's the one who got bored.

But Prewett is such a wonderful man…and a wonderful teacher who is wonderfully young. That's right, twenty year old Fabian is substituting as a Defense against the Dark Arts teacher for the year. The last one was mauled by the Whomping Willow, not pretty.

Marls knows him from out side of school, his family and her family get along well. Now I know what you're thinking, _oh, but he's five years older than her_!

Au contraire, (spelling?) only four years…barely four years, he turned twenty barely two weeks ago, we had a party in DaDA. Marlene was born in September. September 14th. So, she's sixteen, and I'm fifteen. Em was born on April 5th, and is fifteen. Prewett is twenty.

Right, so Prewett is a very exciting person, really, he sometimes sits at the Gryffindor table, because he is just cool like that and it used to be in Gryffie. McG is severely disturbed by it all, but all they really do is chat and flirt, and whenever she gets on their case, they mention that they are betrothed or something and she storms off. I don't know if they actually are, I haven't spoken to her in three days.

I do sometimes talk to Emmy, at least she remembers that I exist…but still, she's not really there when she talks to me, and I know she doesn't want our friendship ruined over the two guys, but she always stares at Diggory when she's talking to me, and I have to shoo her off and tell her I'm fine.

Today, I went to eat lunch…I skipped out on breakfast again…finishing Charms homework. I sat at the table…I just didn't have time to grab anything to digest. I took a seat between my friends Remus and Sirius. Peter waved and mumbled a "hullo" through his treacle tart. James looked up and winked, I swallowed my tongue and sent him a playful glare, but then I looked away from him and hoped I didn't blush. I greeted Peter before poking Remus in the stomach.

"Hey Lily," he said, not even facing me.

"How'd you know it was me?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Simple. Who else pokes me everyday as a greeting?"

"I dunno, Sirius?" I offered, and Remus looked thoughtful.

"Good point." He said, giving a raw smile that I had seen a lot of for the past few days. I was dedicating my time to getting to know this Marauder as well. The silent, brooding, but friendly Remus.

"Did someone say my name?" Sirius asked, looking around as though he didn't see me. He was much taller than me, and constantly brought that into every conversation. "Ah! Lils, you're here! Good…good." he said once he had spotted me, and immediately turned away, yanking James, who was sitting across from him, by his hair and talking to him in hushed tones.

James' eyes watered and he attempted to pry Sirius' hand off of his head. Not succeeding, he grabbed him by his ear and pulled, all the while, muttering something and denying it.

I had a feeling it was about the note. Or what the note discussed at least. Remus had told me that James had no idea that I had the note, and warned me that Sirius was plotting something…thinking of this, I immediately feared for my life.

_"Ah! Lils, you're here! Good…good."_…the phrase played itself over in my mind and I strained my ears to hear when they were saying.

I was startled when a piece of pie was dropped onto my plate, along with a chicken sandwich. I gazed at the person responsible for this and saw Peter grinning at me.

"Eat," he said, before tucking in to his third chicken leg.

I had forgotten that was what I came here to do, and was glad that someone was looking out for my stomach and health.

"Peter can't stand it when others don't eat and he's eating. It bothers him a lot for some reason, besides, we've all noticed that no one has been brining you food since October." He said, making it sound worse than it was, after all, the way he'd said it, you'd think October was half a year ago, as opposed to four days ago.

"Thank you," I said to all of them, though only two heard. My two Marauders (yes, I'm claiming them…shut up.) were still yanking at each other while arguing.

Done with my sandwich, I moved on to the pie. The stupider half of the quartet had lulled into silence a few minutes ago, and it's obvious how I had to turn around as there was a last yowl, and Sirius muttering suddenly, and fairly loudly.

"If you don't care, then you won't mind what I'm about to do." He scoffed, and pulled his ear free from the clutches of his evil best friend. He got down on one knee and poked me in the side. I was already turned around so it was a useless gesture. Frank, who was sitting next to Sirius, turned around to watch as well. Alice, who was sitting next to Frank, turned as well.

Black cleared his throat, and looked me in the eyes with his gorgeous blue ones.

"Lillian Marie Evans—" he began, and I cut him off immediately.

"Sirius, dear, my first name is Lily, and I only have a middle initial, which is 'B', not anywhere near 'M'." I said sweetly.

"Oh, right, _spoil_ all the fun." He said, pouting and crossing his arms over his chest.

I decided this was him joking around and turned back to my pie.

"Will you go to Hogsmeade with me on Sunday?"

I choked on my pie, and then I started to laugh, Sirius grinned as well. He understood why I was laughing. After all, our friendship had never reached any level of love except the platonic kind. It was ridiculous to even consider it.

"There is no Hogsmeade trip on Sunday…" I said to him, thinking it would be the end of that. He leaned in and whispered.

"I'll make there be a trip, but understand that this is simply experimental. We can go as friends…I just want to see a few peoples reactions." He muttered quietly.

I looked up and saw James focusing on the table, but otherwise, expressionless, and I saw Marlene look away and roll her eyes, continuing her chat with Fabian. However, upon closer observation, I found that her glance kept darting back to us, and I know that she _did_ care. I looked back to Sirius, and had a questioning twinkle in my eyes.

"Exactly, now…what do you say?" he asked, grinning.

"Why the hell not?" I broke out, grinning as well. "I'll go with you, Sirius, to Hogsmeade on Sunday." The last part was said mockingly, and I started to chuckle.

Sirius got up and bowed, before kissing my hand and sitting back down.

"Drama queen," I hissed at him. He just smirked, and I smirked at him.

He sneered and I sneered. Then I looked down my nose at him, just like his brother Regulus Black does. Sirius looked away and stuck his nose in the air, giving an "hmph". I chuckled evilly and returned to my food.

* * *

**November 5**

The only reason I said yes was to spite Marlene and the fact that she had been ignoring me for three days. There was also the fact that I was undeniably jealous and supremely bored. There was a rule that you didn't go out with your best friends ex-boyfriend, but Marlene didn't look like she gave a rat's arse about it. She didn't bother to look like she gave a rat's arse about me.

Emmy congratulated me in the common room, before starting on her Potions essay. I wanted to tell her we were only going as friends, but I didn't want her to know, because she would tell Marlene. I didn't really want anyone to know. Surprise them! It wasn't their business, and if they got hurt along the way, it was their fault that they made assumptions.

I was planning on abandoning them just like they had abandoned me, without a second thought. I found it much more exciting with the Marauder's right now anyway. How did they do it? Marls and Em? They both seemed to know what they were doing. Marlene was being sophisticated, and Emmy was being cute and bubbly, and they were both getting exactly what they wanted.

Why was I so confused, and so lost? Why was it that all day, whenever I spoke to James, he seemed to have a quiet demeanor and a disappointed look in his eyes? Well, I knew why…but I didn't want to admit it, because things were already more complicated than they should be.

I didn't have anything to occupy my time with; I had been nerdy and finished all the work in class. I could read ahead but I wasn't _that_ nerdy. I started to flip through the pages of my memoir and found the unfinished list. Smiling, I shuffled over to where he was sitting, and plopped down next to him.

"Done with your homework?" I asked, brightly.

"Almost," he said, and I nodded.

That almost turned into another thirty minutes. He kept writing and writing. At some point I asked him if it was for DaDA in an all-knowing tone. He had nodded, but continued with his work. Finally, when he was done, he turned to me and gave a weak smile, running his hand through his sandy colored hair.

"I'm sorry, what did you want?" he asked.

I plopped the list down in front of him and gave him my quill. We had alternated every question and it was his turn. He laughed deeply and tapped the feather to his chin. He sat thoughtfully for a few moments before adding #37.

_37. Transfigure all desks into headless dogs_.

"Headless dogs? That's evil!" I said, disgustedly.

"The lady doth protest too much, and I only mean that they would be headless and run around blindly, knocking everything over.

"Then put blind dogs, it sounds somewhat nicer…" I said quietly.

Rem rolled his eyes yet changed it, then handed me the quill.

"Thank you," I said in a prim, ladylike voice.

* * *

**101 Things You Should Never Do in Class…or in School…Cont.**

37. Transfigure all desks into blinded dogs.

38. Chuck pebbles at your classmates and blame it someone else.

39. Chuck pebbles at your classmates and _not_ blame it on Snape.

40. Chuck pebbles at your classmates and blame it on Snape when he isn't there.

41. Chuck pebbles at Malfoy and blame it on Snape.

42. Chuck pebbles at the Marauders and blame it on Snape.

43. As a Marauder, claim that Snape has thrown pebbles at you and get many points taken off of Slytherin because you insist each person hit be accounted for.

44. Put on a wig, or a glamour spell, and pretend to be a substitute teacher.

45. In McG's class.

46. And duke it out with her when she comes in, and claim that it is an insult to your teaching skills to be outdone by a old lady like her.

47. Slip Veritaserum into Slug's drink.

48. Have fun with the questions.

49. Make sure the drink is Fire Whiskey.

50. In his drunken state, make him swear an unbreakable vow that he will take at least thirty points off of Slytherin every day.

51. Replant the wrong plant in Herb.

52. Water the plants a bit too much.

53. Mix up the greenhouse numbers.

54. Aggravate all creatures and hand them to your most loathed enemy right before it hurts you.

54. Put woodlice in Malfoy's hair, and set the bowtruckles free.

55. Instead of brewing the required potion, make shampoo and be very loud about presenting it to Snape.

56. Set loose a niffler on Malfoy.

57. Cause insert random person here 's cauldron to combust as many times as it takes for class to be dismissed.

58. Enlarge an object until it breaks down the walls and Charms is canceled.

59. Obtain a very large sponge and soak up the Lake.

60. Make the castle invisible.

61. Put the giant squid into green house one…with the firsties.

62. Get the staff drunk.

63. Flood the dungeons.

64. Lock the Slytherins out of class…

65. Tell the teacher they're all sick.

66. Enchant the lights to go off everytime the words "the" and "and" are said.

67. Yawn loudly during crucial points of a lecture.

68. Steal exams you know you failed and throw them into the lake.

69. Set a Boggart loose in Slug's class.

70. Laugh at his fear.

71. If he can't get rid of it, neither can you.

72. Put fake vomit on the professor's seat.

73. Disillusion yourself, and make farting noises while standing behind the professor.

74. Write "I had beans for lunch" on the board.

75. Charm strange wigs onto the professor's head.

* * *

"Oy, Moony…what are you doing with my girlfriend?" a voice boomed from across the room. 

"She's not your girlfriend." Remus said flatly.

"Well, I'm going on a date with her…"

"As friends…" Rem and I said at the same time.

"How did you know?" I asked curiously.

"Damn you and your were—" Sirius started, but Remus slapped him in the head.

"Ouch!" Sirius exclaimed, rubbing his head, "I was only going to say "_very_ good hearing". I bit my tongue earlier, it's making my words all wonky."

"Poor baby," I mocked.

"Maybe you would like to kiss my owie?" he asked, cocking his eyebrows suggestively.

I rolled my eyes and slapped him on the shoulder.

"You're going to have to kiss that one too," he said, frowning.

After a moment of silence, Sirius was still very serious, I cocked my head and looked at him, a bit puzzled. He sighed and answered my eyes.

"Err…we're double-dating."

* * *

**November 7**

A green eyed girl lay on the floor directly in between three four poster beds and the door. The largest, fluffiest, blanket she could find was wrapped around her so that the only thing you could see was her bright, red hair.

Even the bright, red hair wasn't very bright. The moon was out and the lights were off. The miserable pile on the floor was motionless except for a few occasional shudders that came as an aftermath of crying.

Then Marlene McKinnon came in, followed closely by Emmeline Vance, and they picked the broken Lily Evans up from the floor and dragged her into her own bed. Then they both gave her a large hug.

I had never been so grateful to them in my whole life. That night had been what I thought was the worst night I had ever experienced. After coming back from the double-date, I had climbed into my bed and had a good cry. I missed my two best friends so much, and had no idea how the hell I had gotten myself into this bloody mess.

Finally, after the sobbing had subsided, I had grabbed my super comfy blanket and curled up on the floor. I wanted my friends to see me, because maybe then they'd pay attention to me.

"Lily!" Emmy had gasped the moment she came in, before she ran off to get Marlene.

That was where they had found me. Curled up in the fetal position and feeling sorry for myself. Pathetic…but you already knew that. After a bit, they let go of me, and peeling the covers away so they could talk to me. I had buried myself in the blanket, and could barely breathe, but I had managed.

My skin was splotchy from crying, something only fair skinned people had to deal with. I remember once, I had a breakdown at the hospital when I had to get a shot…my skin got splotchy then too. Hey, I was young and afraid of needles.

The moment I took a breath of cold air, I launched into a throaty recount of the night, apologizing profusely for getting worked up over something stupid. I was ashamed of myself, because it honestly wasn't a big deal. I suspected PMS had something to do with it, though.

I had met Sirius in the common room, wrapped up in my Gryffindor scarf, wearing a pair of jeans and a nice, fluffy sweater to match my eyes. He offered me an arm and I took it. For the first few minutes it was a night of nice, sweet gestures. Little did I know…

That phrase is overused but it describes everything so perfectly.

We met James in a third-floor corridor, near a statue of this ugly witch. Along with him was the blonde girl I had seen messing around with Sirius that day. You know…the bimbo? Sirius had a strangled look on his face.

"I was going to pursue her after this little experiment," he said to me sadly, "You realize James is using her against both you and me?" he continued, muttering more to himself that to me. "Clever…clever."

They walked very slowly, and when they finally got there, James pulled something out of his pocket. It was a piece of parchment. It didn't look too new, but it wasn't _old_. He seemed to be consulting it, and looking around the hallways to check on something. Finally satisfied, he gave Sirius a wry grin and tapped the statue of the witch with his wand.

"_Dissendium,_" he whispered, so quietly that I don't think anyone, but me, heard it. I was standing fairly close to him, and Sirius was focused on glaring at the girl. The girl was standing off to the side, looking very uncomfortable. Usually, I would offer an encouraging smile in this sort of situation, but frankly, I didn't feel like making her comfortable at all.

The back of the witch opened up and formed a slide of sorts. James ushered me forward and I raised an eyebrow to say "I'm not going in there first." Message sent and received.

James rolled his eyes and pulled himself up, slipping down. The girl followed nervously, casting glances at us. Then I went, and Sirius after me.

It was terribly cold down there, and let me say that not all pretty sweaters are warm sweaters. Actually, most pretty sweaters aren't warm, at all…ever. So I'm rubbing my arms, trying to keep warm, and glancing ahead of us, where James has his arm around the blonde chick's shoulders.

Sirius was walking next to me, muttering to himself and glaring at James and Blondie. I really needed to find out her name, I decided. I poked Sirius in the shoulder and he turned around.

"You're cold," he noted, seeing my shivering body. He unclipped his robe and plopped it over my shoulders. Then he went back to shooting stares at the back of their heads.

"Thanks," I said, somewhat dryly…but I was grateful for the newfound warmth. "but I wanted to know what Blondie's name was."

"Oh…Nancy…something or other." He said, and a pensive look attached itself to his face. "She's in Hufflepuff…" he offered, and I snorted.

After a moment of silence, he spoke again. "It's all a ruse…a sly ruse."

And I laughed at the absurdity of the statement. James' head snapped back to look at us. He eyed Sirius' grin, and my laughing mouth. Then he looked away and I swore I heard him let out an unsatisfied "hmph".

Eventually, we got out of the passage, into the cellar of Honeydukes, and from there we somehow made it into The Three Broomsticks.

"How are we in here, and not yet suspended?" I asked Sirius, but it was James that answered.

"Madam Rosmerta has a soft spot for Padfoot and I."

"Padfoot?" said Nancy.

"Their nicknames for each other," I said lazily, and she looked jealous that I knew what they were and she didn't.

"Why did you two reveal a secret passage to two girls you barely know?" I muttered to Sirius.

"Now Lily, can you honestly say we barely know each other? I trust you with this…now James, James is just being an idiot. If he's taking my advice, he's an idiot." Sirius whispered back.

"What do you mean he's taking your advice? You _gave_ him this advice?" I shot at him, trying to keep quiet.

"Well, not directly…it's from my novel…you know…getting another cookie to make another cookie jealous. Like I said, James is an idiot to take that rubbish to heart." He answered.

"So you admit it's a load of shit, then." I said slyly, the corners of my mouth turning up into a grin. James eyed us whispering and ordered drinks from Rosmerta, giving her a dazzling smile before leading us to a booth.

We sat down and I muttered a small concealment charm on the booth. Anyone with bad intentions towards us four would overlook this booth.

"What are you _doing_," squealed a panicked Nancy. "Are you _trying_ to get us detention?"

"No, Nancy, calm down." I said, not even bothering to explain the situation to her. If she never bothered asking anyone about magical signatures, I wasn't about to explain there weren't such things.

I was interested in the idea of people having their own special signatures, and found out that they were all indistinguishable in magical households and yada, yada. The tavern was full of wizards and witches, they wouldn't be able to tell if there were students doing magic or not. Both Sirius and James knew, they had helped explain it to me last year along with Emmy and Remus.

"It's Nan_cine_!" she snapped, and I knew that Nancine was having a horrible time…just like I was.

The rest of the evening was spent with me and Sirius muttering about James' treachery, and James trying to joke with Nancine. Randomly, Sirius produced a pocket knife from out of his pocket.

"Carve your name into the bottom of the table…please Lily?" he said, and the table went quiet.

"Why?" I said, narrowing my eyes.

"Oh, just a list of our conquests." Sirius said nonchalantly.

"You obviously don't know what a conquest is, and I'm not a conquest." I said, coolly.

"Well, you're here, aren't you?" he said, his eyes shining in mirth.

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. "Oh, alright," I said, grabbing the knife from out of his hand and sliding down onto the floor. I looked up and found a list of names on the underside of the table. I found '_Marlene is not a _conquest' towards the center. I rolled my eyes again and found an empty corner.

Slowly, the words _Lily Evans owns Sirius_ _Black_ made a permanent home in the wood. I got up and smirked, handing him the knife. We started another "Slythier-than-thou" contest, and abruptly stopped when James' laughter rang across the table. He had crouched down to see what I had written.

"Sirius, mate, you have to see this." James said, sitting on the floor and pointing at my statement. Sirius craned his neck and peered under the table.

"Bollocks," he mumbled, before trying to get back up and smacking his head against the table. "You're too smart for me, Evans."

He spent a moment rubbing his head before turning to me and smirking.

"That's another owie you'll have to kiss." He said evilly.

"That's three then?" I replied, getting parchment and a quill out of his robe pocket. I feigned eagerness to take notes on his 'owies'.

He shoved me lightly against the wall, and I shoved him back. We started a shoving fight. When me and Sirius are together, we either act much older than we usually do, _or_, much younger than we usually do.

After a few minutes of this, James launched into a cocky story about a prank he and the Marauder's pulled. Sirius took this as flirting and started to try and make James seem like an idiot by highlighting all his screw-ups. James returned the favor. Nancine started to open up and was teasing both of them.

I was fed up and said, very loudly, "Sirius said the funniest _thing_ the other day," and they all shut up, looking at me expectantly. "Well, we were talking Remus and his study habits, and oh, you just had to be there…"

I. Was. Making. A Complete.

_Arse._

Out of. Myself.

But this only seemed to encourage me and I went on, making very stupid comments, worse than that one. Finally, Sirius grit his teeth, took me by the arm, and excused us from the table.

"Lily, what the hell are you doing?" he hissed.

I was about to say 'nothing', but then I realized, there was no point in lying, my eyes brimmed with tears and I looked down, not wanting to me his glance.

"Making a git out of myself." I said, under my breath.

"That you are," he said scornfully.

"Can we go?" I asked, looking up at him with my eyes glassy with tears. I didn't dare blink, lest I let them loose.

His expression softened, "Yeah, but you're not the only person being a shitbox tonight. You're just the most obvious."

I blinked, and the tears streamed, but I laughed anyway. He gave my shoulder a squeeze and went to tell James we were off. James looked up to where I was standing near the door, and behind his spectacles I could see a look of guilt, while Nancy kept chatting to the back of his head.

I turned around and pushed the door open, then waited for Sirius outside. He came, and we went. Somewhere in the middle of the secret hallway, he sighed and I looked at him.

"I'm sorry Lily, it's all my fault." He started, hushing me when I wanted to interrupt, "If it makes it any better though, I was right, and the experiment was successful…"

"That's alright," I said, but it was ill-tempered because of his mention of the 'experiment'. I didn't give a flying fuck about his experiment. He knew what I was thinking…as scary as it is…he _knew_.

"Trust me, Lils, this has a lot to do with you, and you will benefit from it directly…yes…I've got you just where I want you now." He rubbed his hands together, his head lost in thoughts of his diabolical plan.

Sirius was the person we based #23, and #24 of The List on, in case you were wondering.

When we got back, I ran up the stairs and dove into bed, and here I am, still wearing his blasted robes.

Emmy and Marlene apologized some more and told me that he was never going to ask me out. He was just to stubborn and had to much pride. It was in to far for him to do it himself, and I had to be the man and do it myself. I just nodded and went to sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** Fin! 

I hope you like this chapter, because I am very proud of it. It deviates from the other chapters, and seems to me more Sirius…

Sorry…pun…couldn't resist.

Thanks to my reviewers: **CrimsonColoredSkies**, **GoddessoftheMaaN**, **bri007**, **mb4**, **Elli**, and **TellAllYourFriends**.

_**Responses on LJ**_

Ihartyou!

-Wired


	7. Rich Black Chocolate

**Disclaimer:** The Wonderful World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing but the plot and Lily Evans' literary voice and attitude.

* * *

**A L**ook **A**t **W**onderland

_**b**y **W**ired **D**ragonfli_

**C**hapter **S**even – **R**ich **B**lack **C**hocolate

**November 8**

I am feeling so crappy right now.

I feel like crap.

Here's a rhyme:

_My name is Lily,_

_I'm feeling like shit._

_I'm not being silly_

_Not one bit._

I was right…I _was_ PMSing. This morning I woke up and lo and behold…I had painters in. I have the worst cramps the first day. Honestly, even the Slythie girls sympathize and don't bug me for the day.

I need all the sympathy I can get. I didn't shower last night, so this morning. I just pulled by hair into a ponytail and I was off. My face is also a bit zitty, but I used a glamour charm and it was fine.

Then I pulled on my comfy pants, 100 cotton, and my Chucks…so comfy and loose. I had a Gryffindor hoodie-sweater thing on. Or is it a sweatshirt? What's the sodding difference?

Then to make myself look weirder, I put on my robe, _and_ Sirius' robe (or else I would just forget about it completely and never return it and prolly use it to line Napkin's cage) and dragged my book bag downstairs.

I almost wished I was a boy so I could slide down the stairs…you know…that turn into a slide when boys come near it…and not have to use my legs…also, no more PMS, or cramps, or anything.

It'd be odd to have something hanging between my legs though…terribly odd.

So then I sat down on a nice stuffed couch and got out my Potions book. For a few minutes…I stared at the book and couldn't, for the life of me, remember what I was supposed to do.

"I'm sorry…did I tell you I was sorry?" said a long-haired bloke as he swung himself over the top of the couch and landed beside me. "Because I really am…"

He scared the shit out of me, and I started crying because of this stress and the self pitying and all that. Then I slapped myself, and wiped my tears and shut up. A very amusing string of actions, I am told.

I realized I had to answer Sirius, "I'm fine, and honestly…it's just that time of the month…" I said, winking.

And he grinned, and then I grinned, because it is a joke between me and Sirius, concerning Remus. Once a month, he worries himself sick over his mother, and disappears to visit him…HER…sorry…I'm really out of it. One day, Sirius had an epiphany and related it to menstruation…and I think you can go from there.

Peter came down the stairs and made a beeline for us. He sat in a chair opposite the couch, and handed me a box of chocolate…I mean chocolates…but a box made of chocolate would have been cool too.

"From James…" he said, and I took the box, having enough grace to quirk my eyebrow and not much else. Peter quickly explained. "He was afraid you'd castrate him if he came down himself."

I wanted to laugh, but I didn't have the grace for that. Have you ever had a weird moment, when your mouth is glued shut, and you can't open it, and you just make strange noises? Yeah, me, right about then.

"She means to say: 'Send him down!'" Sirius translated, after getting over the appalling lowing noise I had made. This was, of course, not what I wanted to say at all.

My eyebrows went up and I tried to say no, but Sirius had grabbed the box out of my hand and opened it.

"_Honeydukes_ chocolate…I never get _Honeydukes_ chocolate…" he frowned heavily and fingered one of the chocolates before popping it into his mouth.

"Hey!" I said, scandalized, before ripping _my_ chocolate from his grasp.

"You're right…it is that time of the month," Sirius muttered in a disgruntled manner.

"Oh, if _you_ say it, it _must_ be true. The blood in my knickers this morning has nothing to do with it." I snapped, nibbling on one of the confections.

"Eew, Evans, too much information…" he said, and started to make gagging noises while Peter turned red around the cheeks.

"Truffles!" I chirped happily. "I _love_ truffles!"

"I'm glad…" said a meek voice, before swinging its body over the side of the chair and landing beside me on my other side…did that make sense?

I grinned, all of last night forgotten. I'm like that…I forgive and forget very easily, and a bad event usually can't get me down for more than a few hours. I then assaulted him with a large hug before returning to my truffles.

He looked confused, but shrugged it off as another case of ranging teenage hormones. Not the sexual kind…the growing-up-able-to-make-babies kind…okay…no wait. I dunno what kind.

Remus came down stairs at this point, yawning before handing James a stack of papers. They were for Quidditch tryouts.

"Ah, yes, the game's in a few weeks? Why wait so long to have tryouts?" I said, already half done with my chocolates.

"Our dear captain has been captivated by a girl for most of the beginning of this year, and forgot all about the tryouts…but of course, his excuse is that he's letting everyone getting into the best shape they can for the tryouts." answered Loony, Loopy Lupin.

James is the captain and a chaser, Sirius is a beater, Remus is the keeper, and Peter is the reserve keeper. They're all on the team.

Yes, I did note the girl reference and can only assume it is directed to me, but it might be Nancy or whatever. I'm getting nauseated just thinking about it.

"The game is in four weeks, tryouts are on Wednesday…and practice is every other day after that. We're playing Ravenclaw, and they've got two new chasers and a new seeker," said, James, launching into his infamous Quiddy talk, "Of course, first match of the season is this weekend, Slytherin against Ravenclaw, so we get to observe two teams. If Ravenclaw wins, we beat them and we're all the better off, but Slytherins are cheating scum—"

"Hear, hear!" said the beater.

"—so they might win, but if we beat them and Ravenclaw then we're a shoe in, I'm not too worried about Hufflepuff, Diggory has broken something five minutes into each game, and I doubt he's become more coordinated. They have no reserve keeper; Merlin knows they're all wonky in the head…too much studying I tell you…"

"Diggory's not a wanker," came Emmy's cranky voice. She stumbled down the stairs in front of Marlene, who was showered and ready to go. She had long since stopped going in front of Emmy as the girl had a habit of tripping over her own too feet this early in the morning.

James looked up and grinned, "Say, you think you can distract him from the stands? Maybe we can get him in the hospital only three minutes into the game."

"What's that?" Em said weakly, squinting at a portrait of Godric and thinking it was James. "Since when do you have a beard?"

"Oh for the love of Merlin, just get yourself some coffee and _wake up_!" said Marlene very loudly before picking up my open Potions book, "I'm assuming you came down here early to do your Potions homework…"

"Yes…" I said, and she raised an eyebrow.

"I'm assuming you realized you didn't know what it was."

"Yes…"

"I'm assuming you forgot you finished it all in class."

"Oh…" I said, very surprised. I shut the book and Emmeling (Oh…that's better! Liling, Emmeling, and Marling…we can be the Ling Trio!) started awake.

"Barkin…coffee please…" she muttered, and the boys exchanged looks.

There was a _crack _and our favorite house-elf arrived with a cup of coffee. He was noticeable sober.

"Barkin! What are you doing here?" Emmy asked, taking the mug from his hands.

"Mrs. Vance sent Barkin to work. No more butter beer for Barkin…" he said sadly, "Barkin is replaced by Batty…"

Batty is another house-elf…they got a lot of new house-elves recently, all of them with names vaguely alluding to insanity. Barkin, Batty, Twitchy, Kraisy…a joke of Mr. Vance's…

"Oh, no Barkin, I still need you." Emmy said consolingly, "I'm going to be calling on you more often now that I know you're here. The house-elf perked up, and asked happily: "Would Miss like some marshmallows with her coffee?"

"Thank you, I'm fine," Emmy said warmly. Barkin nodded and disappeared with a _crack_.

"That was…interesting…" Remus remarked, before going back to discussing strategy with James. Emmy heard this and shimmied into their conversation. It came out that Em was trying out for Seeker or Chaser.

"Great, now all our friends are on the Quidditch team, Marls. We'll be all alone in the stands." I said in a very dramatic voice.

"Come this weekend, I will be commentating…" said Marlene, and I gave a woe-be-gone cry. "I was going to ask you to join me but if you're going to act like a child…"

"Oh don't get me started Marls, we all know you're a brat when _yours_ comes around…and that's in a few days. Note that I will not be pleased if you Hex me to get into the bathroom one more time…" I snarled…well, no I didn't, but I got her right where it hurts.

Marlene hates talking about womanly stuff in front of blokes, to her, it is an utter disgrace or something. It can't be avoided. When we three…bleed…we all bleed together, within the same week…the adjustment thing or whatever. And since we are the only fifth year girls, and they are the only fifth year boys, they go through hell during that week and a half.

"How weird would it be to have two moody girls doing the commentary for Friday's match?" I wondered aloud.

"Not very weird, but it will definitely be amusing." Remus said, and we all had a hearty laugh.

* * *

**The Match**

**November 12**

"Welcome to the first match of the season, Ravenclaw vs. Slytherin. I'm your host, Marlene McKinnon, and for today, as well as the rest of this year, I will be joined by my good friend, Lily Evans," said Marlene, after having placed the _Sonorus_ spell on her vocal chords.

I did the same and waved at the crowd as a cheer went up. Of course, they couldn't see me but who cares.

"It is a lovely Friday, and we have no classes. I, for one, am glad to get out of double HoM." I said, cheerily, surprised that anyone laughed as I was being very corny.

"You're glad to get out of any class," Marlene drawled, and there were more chuckles from the stands.

"Alright, now we're going to attempt to keep you amused for the next ten minutes while the players get ready…they're worse than us on the day of the Masquerade…and we came half an hour late." I flicked my wand and the famous drum beat played after lame jokes came one over the crowds muttering

Ha, ha…went the crowd.

"We would like to take this chance to congratulate Emmeline Vance, Gryffindor teams _new_ Seeker!" and then Marls started clapping and I clapped along. McG gave us an annoyed look, but as the match hadn't even started yet, it couldn't count as distracting the teams.

We spent the next few minutes dramatizing the skills of the Gryffindor Quiddy team.

"Don't miss the match, Ravenclaw against Gryffindor, December 5th! We'll be here but don't let that keep you from coming!" I said.

Marlene groaned and knocked her head against the table repeatedly.

"Well don't knock yourself out; I can't do this on my own…" I whispered, but everyone heard as I forgot to take the charm off.

"And here come the players," she said, ignoring me and continuing to bash her head into the table. I gave McG a look and she told Marls to stop.

"On the Ravenclaw team, we have Pail, Stevenson, Kipling, Crane, Bligh, Lovegood, and Cooper." Marling said, and the Ravenclaws burst into cawing. Diggory got knocked out right before the game…and they did have a replacement keeper…

Great…I have to introduce the Slythies.

"Look what just blasted up from hell…" I said, feigning awe, the crowd chortled, and I apologized to McG on the grounds that I couldn't resist. "Slytherin house has some of Hogwarts finest on _their_ team this year," more sarcasm…

"Avery, Bode, Crabbe, Goyle, Snape, Malfoy, and Nott." Marlene said dryly. I pouted.

Ooh…Marls is in a bad mood…ha ha, she's still halfway through hers.

"C'mon Slythies…hiss for your team!" I said in what might have been a cheerful voice if the malicious sadistic tone was filtered out.

They did not hiss. I was not surprised. Marlene was not amused.

"Hooch blows her whistle," herein I giggled, and Marls rolled her pretty little eyes into her head where they got stuck and she was blinded forever, "and the game starts. Pail grabs the quaffle and thunders down the pitch…"

I provided sound effects for the word "thunders".

"And Bode intercepts brutally, and passes to Snape, who passes to Malfoy who attempts to score and—"

"Bam!" went I, as Lovegood slammed Malfoy into the stands. Billiam Lovegood (yes…I know…don't ask.) refuses to use any broom but his father's Comet 13. The rest are infected with snargles.

No penalty was marked, or whatever, and Hooch even complained to Malfoy that he should know by now to avoid Lovegood's broom. You see, last year, Bill fell off, landed in the crowd, and the broom sped off and broke Malfoy's nose…so sodding hilarious…James had a field day with that one…or field week…or whatever.

Bill's a brilliant chaser though, sure…everyone avoids him, but he has great aim. Almost as good as our dear Mr. Potter…

…

Oh_ Shit_!

_shitshitshitshitSHIT_!

I said that out loud…

Out loud…

But it's okay…

I don't think anyone noticed.

Right…

About five minutes later I had convinced myself he didn't hear. I was totally believed that he didn't. 'Lily, don't worry about things you can't change' I was chanting to myself…and I was starting to believe it when…

James Potter walked in through the doors, followed by Sirius, who winked at McG, followed by Remus who bowed to McG, followed by Peter, who became confused and did something between a wink and a bow.

A wow…or a bink…haha…both are strange words.

Then, I, who am stupid, had to mention the wow and bink thing…while still charmed to be loud. Which Sirius found amusing, and cast the spell on himself.

They all did…so now…there were seven commentators….including the unmentionable Emmy Vance who did nothing but laugh at me from the moment she walked in…

…and none of them were doing their jobs. McG had just shaken her head and left, as there was no room in the commentators' box…but not before she gave Marls a significant look.

So I can goof around…and it's all Marlene's responsibility.

"That sounds like a swear word." Sirius said sagely.

"What?" I said.

"Idiot-say-what?" James asked.

"What?" I said, again. Then they all laughed at me, and I pouted, and they laughed some more. "binks…"

**The Match**

**November 12…3 hours later.**

"This is the game that never ends…" started James for the 50th time.

"It goes on and on my friends…" I sang, straining my breath and forcing out the word "friends".

"Some people started playing it…"

"And then they couldn't stop…"

"This is the game that never ends…" it went again, in the same tone as the first line.

Em, Rem, and Peter were playing exploding snap in the corner. Sirius was poking Marlene and trying to get her to talk to him. Marlene was just sitting there with her head on her arms.

James and I were the only ones with the sonorous charm on, and we were singing the song for all twenty two of the people left in the stands.

Twenty two…

We should know. We had counted them about ten zillion times.

"Shut _UP_!" came a groan from somewhere nearby, and a bludger was aimed at the box, where it broke the wall behind us and set off almost all the exploding snap cards. I just laughed like a maniac and James went pale. The ball had rushed about three cm away from his face.

Speaking of his face, the look on it made me wet myself laughing. Well not really, but you know. The Slytherin that aimed it was taken out of the game, and it still went on. However, we just took off the charms with a "quietus" and sat there blankly for a few moments.

The reason I like James so much is because I can always have a nice conversation with him. Even silences are nice and comfortable…no awkwardness whatsoever. No, that wasn't sarcasm…and neither was that…or that….oh my Godric I can't stop.

…

**LATER…muchmuch_much_ LATER.**

**Still the same day, and place though…just much later.**

Subject: I

I ate a penguin today. –Lily Evans

_So I start off with today...? –James Potter_

And the subject should be…J.

_Today, James killed Sirus._

You did…_did_ you?

Sentence: Sirius killed is strange?

_Are you serious?_

No, I'm not. This isn't working…let's just use the last word of each sentence.

_Fine by me_.

…Sirius is a strange one.

_One dog can eat a lot of food._

Food at Hogwarts is good.

_Goodbye Lily Evans…_

Evans, Lily is confused as to what you mean.

_Mean—ing, I am talking nonsense._

Nonsense!

_Nonsense…this game is dead._

Dead people would agree, since they would know.

_Know what?_

What is dead.

_Dead people would know because they're dead._

Dead again?

_Again, this game is unamusing._

Unamusing enough as to only have really lasted a few lines.

**Still later….**

**Blah blah blah…**

"What's your birthday?" I asked, after a long silence. James adjusted his glasses and gave me a look.

The look gave me the feeling that it was strange to be asked your birthday randomly.

"Thinking of getting me something?" he said after a while cocking his head to the side cockily.

"No…I just want to know your sign…so I'll just come out and ask you…what's your sign?" I dead-panned.

"Sign?" he questioned…thought he knew exactly what I was talking about, he had that certain mischievous glimmer in his eyes. "I believed it would be Caution, Stag Crossing."

"That's Deer Crossing…" I corrected incorrectly…because I'm sure it's not any sort of "crossing"…

"Whatever," he said quietly, waving it away with his hand, then putting the arm that waved the hand across my shoulders.

Smooth…very smooth. It was done so subtly one might not have noticed. Except I'm a prude and was probably blushing merely from having his arm around my shoulders. While I was trying to calm my flaming cheeks down, a pause ensued, and at the end of it, he responded to my question.

"I'll tell you some other time, it might prompt you to talk to me more frequently than once a month," then he winked, got up and dragged Sirius off of Marlene, who yanked Remus by the hair to get him up, who in turn kicked Peter to get him to follow. Then they left and a cheer went up.

Marlene looked up and quickly cast a charm to make her voice booming. "And Ravenclaw wins due to the seeker of Slytherin being incapacitated sometime between when I stopped caring enough to stop commentating and now."

Some more cheers went up and Marlene moodily left the room with Emmy, and I sat like a moron trying not to blush or giggle before Emmy came back and kicked my shoe.

* * *

**An Obscure Hallway DMO (During Moment of Occurrence)**

**November 15**

He was sitting next to me in some abandoned hallway that (oh so) ironically, he had led me into. He was dabbing an ice-wrapped-in-paper-towel thing on my hand.

James, coincidentally, was also the one to pour hot water from a boiling cauldron onto my hand only three minutes into potions…so yeah, he _should_ b the one nrsing it to health.

But every time his warm hand shifted on my cold, numb arm, my heart strings jerked and I felt awkward and out of place…but I've grown to associate that feeling with ecstasy.

I am the most prudish-on-the-inside person I know. Sure, flirting with every guy I talk to is no problem (well it's a problem in the form of this disease I have where it's the only way I can talk to guys…which gets me unwanted admirers), but touching them…or them touching me? Total spine-tingling experience.

"Why aren't we in the hospital wing?" I asked quietly, even though all I wanted to do was run my fingers though his unnaturally shiny and healthy hair, and mess it up even more than it way…gah…run from the raging teenage hormones.

"Because the healing potion Pomfrey has involved reliving the burning experience for a half an hour longer to reverse the effect," he replied.

But I wasn't listening, and it bothered me how he kept focusing on my hand, like he didn't want to look at me. I'm assuming it's because he killed my hand and is ashamed.

"Your hair looks like…rich…" and here I paused trying to find a coherent way to describe it "…black…" and here her looked up, and I refused to meet his gaze because then I knew my cheeks would be as red as my hand…and my hair "…chocolate."

He ahd stopped dabbing the ice and water was trickling down my thigh (the only way I felt it since my hand had gone numb). I could feel the droplets soaking through my robes as drummed my fingers on my leg, which I found was the only way to not run my hand though his hair. If I had use of both hands…I would be doomed.

He chuckled good-naturedly and stared at my eyes. I can't say he stared me in the eyes because I wasn't looking at him. I couldn't.

"Your hair looks like delicious, red licorice," he said, staring at a strand of my hair dangling over his shoulder before biting it and tugging a bit, "that I could just eat up."

Which I found to be the cutest thing he could do, including his voice as he attempted to talk through his teeth. I almost died right there, and my stomach gave a pleasant twist because the tugging of hair (especially the long strands coming from the base of my head) is my drug. I discovered this over the years when every guy sitting behind me felt the need to pull my hair.

They must have been "ooh! Bright!" but hey, in the next moment…I was like "ooh! Chocolate!" and I took a section of his hair between my thumb and pointer and pulled his head down until our heads rested on each other and exhaled in one long, painful breath: "You are such an odd boy."

He just laughed again, and said "you know you love me," in a quiet "mustn't-kill-the-moment" voice.

I let go of his hair and grinned like an idiot. He turned his head to look at me with his hazel eyes…chocolaty hazel eyes…

…and he chuckled again, before running his hand through his impossibly black hair. James realized that his hand was wet and I realized that the ice had melted so I got up to dispose of the paper towel and he got up and that was the end of that.

* * *

**A/N:** Well that took an eternity to write up, but I think the moment at the end was worth it…wasn't it? 

Review…I love you…!


	8. Always the Charmer, Never the Charmed

**Disclaimer:** The Wonderful World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing but the plot and Lily Evans' literary voice and attitude.

* * *

**A L**ook **A**t **W**onderland

_**b**y **W**ired **D**ragonfli_

**C**hapter **E**ight – **A**lways the **C**harmer, **N**ever the **C**harmed

**November 16**

"Lily?"

"Hm…yes?

"No, Lily, over there…"

Grudgingly, I opened one eye to gander at Marlene, who was sitting across from me at the library table. I had closed my eyes to better concentrate on the effects of Telmunde the Terrible on the Aenigma Remedy…or was it liverwort on the Battle of Harping? Okay…I admit it…I know exactly which beginning of the sentence matches up with which end of the sentence.

I just like confusing you for the kick of it.

I _can_ have my cake and eat it too, although I'm not entirely sure how that saying proves any point of mine, nor how that statement makes _any_ sense at all…

It's sort of like "Never look a gift horse in the mouth," which I never understood until I questioned it in Slug's class one day and Remus answered me. (Oh, hey look, I _have_ said more than eight words to him in all our years at Hoggy, Warty Hogwarts.)

Apparently it has something to do with teeth…like the rings on a tree…and you can tell the age of the horse. Which I think is stupid because you can just ask whoever gave it to you how old it is. Unless that was considered rude back then…hell…they gave away horses!

I would never give a horse away as a present…but then again I'm fairly selfish.

Unless it was an old, stinky horse, with teeth like the rot-mouthed bus driver. Or perhaps the driver in his Animagus form…and if I had loads of other horses. No…actually…I don't fancy riding the bus driver...no matter what form he's in…so I would give it away. Regardless of how many horses I had.

Well that was very lewd…wasn't it? It makes me shiver just thinking about it. We were sitting by the fire too…in the Library…I had edged my seat to the side of the table just so I could feel the fire at my back…and Marls really wasn't across from me so much as adjacent…geometrically. Or would that be a trine?

Back to the matter at hand…before I went off on that lovely tangent and made a fool out of myself.

"Wait…who?"

Marlene pointed at this point, and somewhere at the back of my mind, I realized that I should have known that she wasn't the one that jarred me from my reverie. After turning around, I realized that the brave soul that had dare appeal to me was Samantha Daniels.

"Hey Sam…what's up?" I asked her, ever-cheerful.

"This," she said bitterly, thrusting a Charm Evaluation sheet at me. "I was fine with simply changing the color of things…but now he wants us to do it like a slide show, and…and…"

Here Samantha plopped herself into a chair near the desk (which hurts a lot, as the chairs are very much wood, and most peoples' bottoms are very much not enough to cushion such violent slamming into the seat) and let out as deep breath, letting her lips flutter like a propeller.

Which I found cute because I love kids with spunk.

"Well," I said with a smile before crumpling the parchment and holding it up "this…forget about this!" and I threw the ball at the fire, "because I will definitely help you."

She smiled, then looked behind me and said "Miss."

"Don't call me 'Miss.'; we've been over this…" I snapped in a would-be-modest tone.

"No, you missed," Samantha said dryly before pointing at the paper. Jesus Christ people have been pointing a lot today. Are we really all too lazy to vocalize things? Yes…it's Friday. The paper I had thrown was no where _near_ the fireplace.

"Oh, sod off," I said light-heartedly to the girl. "Where's Emmy?" I inquired of Marlene.

"Practice…"

"Again?" I asked, screwing up my face like I had problems seeing.

"Yes, every other day until the game, then he's going to let up."

"It's strange, having Ems on the team…"

"Yes, she's never around."

"Why do you insist on saying 'yes', say 'yeah' like Emmeling, and me, and the rest of us sane people at Hogwarts."

"I classify saying things properly more as sane than insane."

"I suppose you're right, we'll have to consult with Em…"

"I suppose so…"

"It's strange, not having Emmerly around to consult…"

"Lily, alright! I realize very many nicknames can be made out of Emmeline's name."

And she hadn't even let me get to the "meline" part of her name yet.

"Oh, dreadful sorry Marlie."

Marlene ran her hand through her hair several times. I propped up my book and looked at her over the cover, pretending to be scared. Then I took some parchment and a ruler (I was doing Arithmancy homework before.) and ripped off a strip of parchment.

Marlene, who had been trying to read the same page for about an hour now (I know, because I keep seeing the same gruesome picture of Telmunde the Terrible when I look at her book. It's a full-pager, so she really could only have been reading the other page.) ran her hand through her hair, slammed the book shut and gave me a dirty look.

"What are you doing now?" she asked in a hissy voice. Not pissy…or prissy, but hissy, as in half hissing.

I flicked my wand, and with an array of pretty swishing sounds, the strip folded itself into a popped up star. I timidly reached over my book (thought now timidly enough as it fell over) and placed the star on her closed book before recoiling and hiding behind a newly reconstructed book fort.

Marlene groaned and slammed her head on book, crushing my pretty star, which she realized and she tried to pop back up. I snatched it back and coddled it.

Poor star.

"Oh, so groaning and slamming books, and head hitting is appropriate now…and sighing isn't?" I asked menacingly, before muttering under my breath, "I'm just waiting for you to mess up so I can call you 'vulgar'".

"What?" she asked scandalized.

"Nothing."

"No…what?" still scandalized.

"Nothing!" and I had a hissy fit and gathered my books and left the library.

Though truthfully, she's the one that should be having hissy fits. She can already make hissy comments.

* * *

Oh I am a riot! 

Hopefully now Marlene can get back to studying. She didn't even stop me from leaving. See how cunning I am? She was so infuriated that completely forgot to be motherly and force me to study.

Right now, I'm laying in the middle of the pitch and finishing my Aenigma Remedy essay. Before you say it, no, not Enigma…_Aenigma_…I can't tell you why it's named as it is…but it is…

Of course I have erected a shield charm around me. Of course I only did it after I was almost bludgeoned five times, but what does it matter? It's up, isn't it?

I am so very proud of myself. I've only got the conclusion left to the essay and I've only been distracted by the delectable bums of the Quiddy team a few times. (This is mostly because they are flying very high and my vision can not magnifying or zoom in.

Have I ever thanked Dumbledore for those attractively tight Quidditch pants? Or should I be thanked the bloke who made up Quiddy in the first place? Perhaps he's still alive. Dumbledore is.

Or maybe DD can pass on my regards to Quidditch bloke when he dies. Yes, I know I'm horrible, but invariably, he _will_ eventually die.

Hopefully not in a horrendous way…

As much as I don't seem like it, the whole issue with Voldemort scares the living shit out of me. In a way, it's also so very detached and so very far away. Sure the trouble has been going around for more than just a few years. Before I even came to Hogwarts, and that's partly why it doesn't hit home for me.

I came into the wizarding world when He-who-must-not was already at large. It's always been a part of my perspective of the magic world. I've also always had to deal with being a muggle-born. Sure it hurts when Snape and his friends, (well not so much him as his friends…masters…owners…he's quite like a little dog) decide to go on a tirade and insult every "mudblood" in view…

…and since I have the extraordinary talent of always being in view, I always get picked on. However, it's still a very small part of my life. The Slytherins are much more focused on the real, mean world outside school than on the small insignificant muggle-borns like me.

I'm sure they'll all fight for Voldemort when they're out. I just really don't see why they would sell themselves, for a license to kill (sure), but also one to _be_ killed. One fuck-up and they're gone.

It's frustrating. I pride myself on knowing why. Not _how_ things work…I can figure that out myself, but _why_ things work. Sure, they seem like the same question, but they have totally different answers.

How a spell works would be: swish and flick. Why a spell works would be: you take your emotion and desire, and focus your magical powers though the wand, and the incantation usually keeps you focused as well, it tells your wand exactly what you want.

As you can see, the longer, more drawn out of and philosophical answer is my cup of tea.

Why do they want to sell their souls? Why are they so bent on ridding the world of impurities? I know they're afraid of change, of the unknown, of displacement in society…but _why_ are they willing to let their fear take them so far. And if they truly hate muggles so much, why are they letting half of one dominate them so though roughly.

I hate them for wanting to kill me, not Lily Evans, but just another mud-blood in their eyes. Their hate is so vague but so cruel and focused. Voldemort might give them reason to finally "let out their anger" and kill, but for the most part, he's also brainwashing them to think that killing will solve anything, that it will keep children from being born with magical powers. Killing muggle-borns will not rid the world of them. We're not related, we're not interconnected. If we are really spontaneous combinations of magic that show up anywhere in the world regardless of lineage…

Who says killing us will stop these combinations in future times.

And if it is genetic, then who says this fear will last once the mania dies down. Who says that in the future pure-magic won't combine with muggles again, and start this cycle again.

It's a spiral that never ends. Everything will just keep repeating itself. How is it that I, a "lowly", muggle-born, Gryffindor, 5th year understands it so well…and everyone else so little?

* * *

**November 22**

**Gryffie Commonroom**

"Psst! SQUIRT!" the couched hissed at Sam.

"What?" Samantha deadpanned, and I knew the past two hours of tutoring had gotten to her, because otherwise she would put on a show and pretend to be frightened that the couch was talking to her.

A sugarquill appeared from behind the furniture and danced a bit.

"I'll let you eat me if you take Marlene upstairs and leave Lily alone." The quill said in a too-high falsetto.

"I'll take three, one for getting rid of myself, one for getting rid of McKinnon, and an extra for leading her upstairs." The 2nd year said diplomatically.

There was a contemplative silence on the other side of the sofa, and then the sound of crinkling cellophane.

"Deal!" the voice said, and three sugarquills flew over the couch. Samantha easily caught them…and I clapped for the child, glad for a distraction from Charms.

Marlene got up and refused an offered quill. Sam shrugged and stuck one into her mouth before she herded a peeved Marlene upstairs.

I sat there, pretending to not have noticed a thing, while Sirius rolled out from behind the couch, before shimmying up to my chair. I was anticipating him speaking, and was about to break the silence myself before the chair flew out from behind me and I found myself on the floor.

Red faced, I stood up and tapped my foot. I assume I shrieked loudly because I found several persons leering at me from all around the common room. I waited a few moments and then glared at those who hadn't lost interest.

"I see London, I see France—" a sharp but gentle kick to the head shut up the sing-song Sirius and he got up from the floor. "So…Lily-doodle…"

"Yes Siri-poodle?" I asked sweetly.

"Poodle? Okay, whatever…how has life been treating you?"

"What am I, at a pub?"

"No need to get defensive" he said, slinging an arm around my shoulder. "We just haven't talked in a while."

I was already lost in my thoughts, attempting to flip him over in front of me like they do in films. Sirius gave me an odd look.

"What are you doing?" he asked in an amused manner.

"Nothing. Nevermind, I don't really know." I said, looking at my feet and shuffling them. It's so strange how one can shuffle their feet…it makes me thing of a deck of cards, every time. "What do you want?"

"To spend some time with my bestest pally!" he said cockily, pulling me around to the couch and seating us. It was at this point that I dislodged his arm from around me and turned on the couch. I sat Indian-style and gave him a skeptical look.

"So…what do you want?" I repeated.

"I'm sick, there's something wrong with me…I don't like girls anymore!" he whinned, and dramatisized.

"Well," I said mock-comfortingly, "have you told Remus about your feelings…?"

"Nah, Rem wouldn't get it—wait, what _are_ you inseminating, because that dazzling smile of yours is only aimed at me when I miss something."

"You mean: insinuating? Because I certainly am not introducing semen into the genital tract of a female."

"Yeah. That. Eew."

"Always the charmer,"

"Never the charmed."

"I just think you're maturing, you don't need to hide behind the façade of a playboy to feel hot and desirable."

"That _must_ be it, you know, I've felt more contemplative lately…" he…gushed. That's closest I can come to describing it. Gushing…oh dear, thoughts of inseminating come to mind.

"I'm glad I can help. It's so nice to know you're the girl blokes go to when they think they're gay…" I said in a meaningful tone.

"I knew you meant something with your Remus comment. Lily Evans. I've. Got. You. Pegged." He said, accompanying the last word with a tap on my nose.

"Anytime baby, I'm free Saturday night." I grinned cheekily.

"I've also managed to soak your brains in sewage," He said, rivaling my grin, "besides, when you think about it, the blokes coming to you when they think they're swinging that way is actually very flattering."

I sent him a look that clearly stated 'I will ignore that comment and move on to my problems now, thank you very much'.

"I feel pathetic," I cryptisized, it was rightfully my turn to bitch.

"And how does that make you feel?" Sirius said, pulling up my Arithmancy notebook and a quill.

"Pathetic." I reiterated.

"And how does that—just kidding." He said with a self indulgent chuckle, and shook his head at his own antics. "So, pathetic."

There was a pause as Sirius scribbled, and a silence after a second or two. He looked at the paper expectantly. I narrowed my eyes for a second before grinning.

"P-A…T-H…E-T-I-C"

"Oh I knew that," he huffed, waving a dismissive arm at me, managing to lightly hit my head a few times."

"Sure you did,"

"I did so! I _paused_ because of a certain something funny I see in your little note taking book."

"And what certain something funny is it that you see?"

"Oh, you know what I see…"

"Do I now?"

"Yes, you totally do."

"I totally do? Golly!"

"Um…aren't you going to admit to it now?"

"The question is…when are you going to admit to it?"

"Admit to what?"

"You know what."

"Do I now?"

"Yes, you totally do."

"I think we've been here before."

"I concur!"

"I think we should go celebrate this momentous occasion with some butterbeer."

"What momentous occasion?" I asked innocently, and I could see Siri restraining himself from saying 'you know what.'

"Come, come, Lilster!" he said getting up, linking his arm through mine

"After you, Sirster." I said with a lavish wave. (Sirster, I like that.)

"Are you implying something with the implied ladies first thing?"

"No, but I might be _inseminating_ it" I teased, in a drawling tone, and I smirked.

Sirius languidly raised an eyebrow and put his free hand in his coat.

"You look like Napoleon."

"Who?"

"This French emperor tyrant guy." I said in a nonchalant tone.

Every time I think about Napoleon, I think back to this one episode of Pinky and the Brain, where they went back in time and they explained the hand in the coat thing as Brain poking his belly because it was great fun.

"Are you poking your belly because it's great fun?" Unoriginal!Lily strikes again!

"No…"

"Good."

* * *

**A/N: **I though it'd be nice to update once every year at least. Currently, I have no clue where I'm going with this, and have no idea where the next chapter will go. Most of my story is based on slight altercations of my own life, and right now, my own life isn't all that grand. This summer, I moved from my native wonderful Southern California to Dayton, Ohio. New school, new friends, and well no crushed. I've got almost nothing to base this story on. (Except an ever lasting infatuation with a boy, but it's too deep to be put into this story yet. Oy...give me inspiration my lovelies. : 

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Why else do you think I'm updating this? Give me ideas, no matter HOW absurd they are...go ahead.

**EVERY IDEA YOU GIVE ME IN YOUR REVIEWS WILL BE PUT INTO THE FANFICTION BY THE END...but it only counts for reviewing this chapter. Give me your strangest ideas, random, crazy, anything. GO!**

**Hit me with you best shot!** dun nu nu...music


	9. Studly Blue

**Disclaimer:** The Wonderful World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing but the plot and Lily Evans' literary voice and attitude.

* * *

**A L**ook **A**t **W**onderland

_**b**__y __**W**__ired __**D**__ragonfli_

**C**hapter **N**ine– **S**tudly **B**lue

**November 25**

**Muggle Studies**

_Shouldn't you be taking notes? –Remus Lupin_

I haven't even written a _word_ in here and already you're on my back. –Lily Evans

_I believe November, Muggle, and Studies are words. Three words to be exact. I'm not on your back._

What about 25? You're right, you're breathing down my neck.

_You're even so bad as to have written numbers apart from words._

Well, what about you then, Rem, I don't see you taking notes with your dull gray quill.

_I've already read this chapter. My quill is fine, thank you very much._

Well in that case, I'm a muggle, I don't even need to read the book.

_You're saying that as though anything the book says holds any truth in it. Just last week you were complaining about telephone booths._

I suppose you might be right, but really, who can trust someone writing with a pigeon feather quill.

_I'll have you know that this comes from a rare type of crane which_

Telephone booths are not changing rooms! It's ridiculous!

_Well, that's how they always seem to be portrayed in movies._

It annoys me to no end that just because you've seen Superman, you think you've seen everything.

_Well, if Marsh shows it in a MUGGLE studies class, then it must have some relevance._

You and your undying faith in teachers. Honestly, you think everyone in the muggle world runs around in spandex?

_In America, yes._

America is the fattest country on earth, why would they want to wear spandex?

_Well they go around dancing in the streets, and breaking out in song almost everywhere they can…in biking shorts and what not._

Are you referring to musicals? Never mind, I'm not getting in to that.

_Then back to the blasphemy of Superman?_

Naturally. Super villains. Stupid.

_Me, or the villains?_

Them of course, we can't deny you can't keep a nose out of your books.

_Yes, I suppose I'm writing to you from behind a book. I must have an unnaturally long nose for me to see past the book it is dog-earing._

Pinocchio!

_A wooden puppet boy who comes to life after a blue fairy waves her wand. Are you sure the muggles aren't on to us?_

I'm not sure Snape, or boy who sounds like Snape. I'm not sure.

_Ouch. Point taken._

How _do_ you know about Pinocchio? Ha! That rhymes, imagine, next time someone asks us how we know something, we can be "Oh, I don't kno(w), I Pinocchio!"

_That's slightly absurd, and embarrassing. Sirius was convinced it was a dirty swear word when you had the delightful idea to use it on him. Guess who got stuck with the task of looking it up for him._

Not as embarrassing as being caught with the Slytherin boys' boxers in your bag though, I suppose. He's quite like a puppy, isn't he?

_Please tell James, Sirius, and Peter that I would like a better birthday gift next year. They can't fathom how I can be serious about wanting an actual present. And yes, he is, you have no idea._

Remus, Remus, Remus. I'm not your messenger.

_By the way, why is it that when I borrowed your divination essay to compare, the paper was word for word just like Sir_

Did you know all of your first names end with "S"s. Except Peter's….Peters.

_I know you didn't just now come up with that._

Now why would you say that?

_You were calling Peter "Peters" all of breakfast today. He asked me to ask you about it._

Tell him that he has an Endearing NicknameTM, a Lily Evans Origin_a_le.

_Will do. He'll be pleased._

Remus Lupin! You rewrite that right now! I'll have nothing but full sentences from you!

_I will do that. Peter will be pleased._

I can't believe you just did that.

_You asked me to._

I didn't think you'd be daisy enough to do it.

_I don't know if I like what you're in_seminating.

_What was that?I belive the proper word is " insinuating". I'm getting sick of you snatching this out of my hands._

I'm sorry, I'll do it again though.

_You do realize you're being extremely rude._

It's my book mister. Are you inseminating that I'm not feminine?

_Do you know what that word means?_

Yes.

_Look at you, you're positively pleased with yourself. Methinks you should reconsider tutoring James in Charms, you haven't been quite the same since._

It's been three days.

_Which is why we must make haste, before things spin out of control. Besides, James is slightly peeved he's learning alongside a 2nd year._

Spinning out of control…like Superman! Samantha's peeved that she's learning along side a 5th year Gryffindor boy.

_What?_

Marsh seems to be having issues with the "Projectable Pensive".

"_Projectable" is not a word._

Which brings me to an observation I've been itching to make since the beginning…why are we watching the movie from the ceiling?

_I couldn't tell you._

Everything about this class is madly wrong. I should be teaching it you know. Marsh is bonkers.

_It's steaming now._

Well at least she's taking this as a rare opportunity to teach us something new. "Now everyone, this is what muggles consider steam for a steam room, if you stand and breathe it in, you should be able to loose weight."

_Look at all the girls rushing up…and Billiam._

Does she mean a sweat-box?

_Oh dear, it exploded._

What a shame, I'll miss Roger.

_That's Grace. She's only unconscious, I'm sure you can visit her in the Infirmary if you care all that much._

I was talking about the Projector Pensive.

_You named it?_

Endearing NicknameTM, remember?

_Ah, but of course._

I think the goo is multiplying.

_It does seem to be acquiring surface area at an alarm_

* * *

**November 27**

**Library**

**Last Row**

**My Favorite Fireplace**

"Did you know that you're in the running to be the next Lucky Charm?"

"Bloody hell!" I jumped up with a start. Yes, I was dozing. No, I shouldn't have been. "You've just about scared me shitless. I was having flashbacks of horrible game shows gone wrong."

"What are you babbling about Lily." James asked as he sat his cute bottom in the chair across the table from mine.

"That's Miss Evans to you." I said, smacking a ruler dominantly.

"I see you got your ruler." He said with a grin, and I smiled too because he's my crush and I must humor him and make him as comfortable as possible in any situation. (This makes up for the times when I do stuff that makes everyone uncomfortable.)

"Well, I made so many references to it last time; I thought I might as well bring it today."

"Sadly there's no paddle…"

"Although I know why, I'm going to ask why."

"I've been a very naughty boy, I deserve a spanking."

"Sorry those are reserved for paying customers only."

"I'd like to be your next client then."

"Alright, tomorrow night in the Forbidden Forest, in the vampire rat's den." I said with a laugh.

"Not funny." He said in a mock-upset tone.

"Remember how you locked yourself in the dorm at night, because you were afraid you were going to turn into a vampire…"

"It didn't help that Peter's rat bit me at breakfast"

"Well Randolf has big teeth…and the loss of blood would make me think my pale face was that of a vampire as well."

"Peter's rat's name is Albert."

"Tomato, tamoto."

"Not really."

"Silence!" another crack of the ruler.

All I got was a chuckle. No fear, no respect, no groveling at my feet. Students, pf! We should bring back solitary confinement.

"Alright, not that we've flirted…we should start on the lesson." He spoke and I blushed at the mention of flirting. I pretended to be searching for my quill. "Stupid, er… quill."

"It's right here," he said with a devastating smile, reading over to withdraw it from behind my ear. Of course his hand brushed against my cheek. Of course I blushed more and looked down. I melted and tried not to squeak.

"Thanks."

Another one of his throaty chuckles…Godric I'm in love with this boy.

"Okay, so with the melodic spells…wait, wait. You mentioned the Lucky Charm thing…" back to composure, and a bit of suspense on my part…both on my part.

"Yeah, you were nominated to be the team's official symbol of luck for the game."

"Alright!" I made the classic 'score' gesture with my arm, "Who nominated me?" I asked coyly getting up and walking towards him just as coyly.

"Someone…" he drifted off, looking up and pretending to be modest. Pah! Modesty my ass.

"You?" I asked sweetly. He smiled and nodded. I threw myself into a big hug for him. It feels so wonderful. He still smells like the cold outside winter. Ecstasy.

After a while I tried to pull myself away, but he wouldn't let go. "Just hold a while…" he says quietly. I blushed just a little.

* * *

**November 28**

**Lunch under my treeee**

Snape has taken to throwing paper balls at me in the hallways. The match is this Sunday, and Snape is attempting to debilitate me with small wads of parchments.

Not that his efforts have gone unnoticed. My posse has decided that glaring at him in the hallways would prevent further action on his part. As well as bodily forming a shield around me.

The vessel for Gryffindor's Luck will be decided Friday night, the eve of the match against Slytherin. Apparently it is very ritualistic, sacred, and secretive. I'm also in the running against some 7th year, a 6th year, and Billiam.

I'm starting to see a pattern. It is possible that team members years 5 and up nominate one person to represent each year (5 and up). These nominees are usually of the female persuasion. Except Billiam. Who is not female. Nor in years 5 and up. And isn't even in Gryffindor.

My posse believes I will win…because my posse makes up at least half the team. More than half actually. They told me not to be too concerned with Snape's actions, and I agree.

Since I'd rather be concerned with Nott throwing flaming balls of fire (no not his wonderfully defined rocks) at me. Yes, that's right. The more strong willed and able bodied Slytherins are throwing much more than paper, and I'm afraid my life is been threatened.

It's very strange really that I'm all alone now, mostly because I cast a Disillusionment Charm on myself. Them (the Maradererers), and Marls and Em, and sometimes Billiam, have been tailing me and shielding me everywhere I go.

I figured they shouldn't since they're on the actual team, and they are in far more danger than I am. I even formulated a plan with Sirius to get out of it.

"But where would we find the time to brew a month long potion in the space of a week?" Sirius asked me.

"I'm sure between your money and my charm, we could find and buy off a pre-made potion somewhere…"

"So, what you're saying is, Lily, we'll be relying solely on money to get it?"

This is the point where I hit him in the head with a pillow.

"And then, we'd switch appearances and then they'd think I was you so they wouldn't attack me, and you would be me so you could attack them…"

"There is a problem posed in the fact that I can't be harmed, and if I harm any of those slimy gits, our team gets disqualified. Bugger."

"You wouldn't suppose, Sir, that for some inexplicable and moronic reason, this would work backwards? And maybe perhaps the Slythies are not allowed to hurt you?"

"That would explain my lack of brusing this close to a game…" and an enlightened look spread across his face. "Cheerio! Good show old chap!"

This is the point where he attempted to put me into a headlock and rub my head for luck or something. He didn't succeed because it's very hard to do so with an elbow in your spleen.

"Wait, but then we can't switch anyway, because even if I was you and they didn't hurt _me_, you would be me, and they would hurt and then you wouldn't be able to play."

"Alas. What a dilemma."

* * *

**December 4**

**In a knobby hat and in an eye patch**

**Also, more universally in the Gryff Common Room**

I'm surrounded by too many fragrant candles, and a team of very confused Quidditch players.

The ceremony has been ten minutes underway, and so far, all they've managed to do is to get all three nominees (Billiam didn't show up, surprisingly.) in strange hats and an eyepatch.

"Now what?" Peters asked.

"I don't know" said James through clenched lips, trying not to give away that he was talking. He's very adorable, but also so interestingly stupid at times. "We never really got farther in planning this…I assumed once we got here I'd be able to wing it."

I had grown tired by this point and sat down in a more comfortable position and took turns pointing my feet at them. Because I am Lily, and this is apparently what I do when I'm bored.

"Well, actually, I am just as lost as James," Remus spoke up, "I had really written off half an hour to getting Lily in the hat and eye patch…"

"I _was_ expecting her to put up more of a fight…" Sirius added, and they all turned to look at me, as though it was my fault.

I pointedly ignored them and pretended to inspect my nails. I had painted them clear and they were shiny.

Travis Morag, the other chaser sneezed rather violently, knocking himself and Emmeline over. He apologized and I vaguely hear her say, "Hello Travis," in her smiley voice. I watched the Quiddy team drama unfold as Madison Grimstone sent Emmy a dirty look.

There is only one member of the team I do not know. It's this sullen brown haired boy sitting on the cushioned armchair, separated from the rest. I'm sure he's younger than the rest of us, since he's lightly built, which is always good for a seeker.

For this reason, even though he is acceptably cute, I have no issue scooting over to him and grabbing his arm with cold, cold hands. His eyes snap open and they are this astounding blue.

I'm not sure if I have ever mentioned it before…but there is something about brown hair and blue eyes that sends shivers down my spine and makes my fingers tingle.

"Hi. My hands are cold…"

"I can tell," he says with a smile, still nonchalant and removed, and this attitude makes me think that there is no way he is younger than us.

"Are you hands cold?" I asked, somewhat stupidly, my own hands still on his arm.

He gently slid his arm out of my grasp and replaced it with his hand. I smiled a little and look down. "Are they?"

"Yes. They are." I said, looking up. "And you know what that means, right?"

"What would that be?" he asked, leaning forward, and I could see he had a little bit of a goatee.

"You're my soulmate…" I said jokingly, and surprisingly, this statement didn't freak him out, and he laughed, a low, rocky sound.

Now, I had nothing else to say. But I did want to find out what year he was in. So of course, I decided to use my subtle powers of manipulation.

"So, who did you nominate?"

"Morag made the decision. He picked his ex, Antonia," he said this and pointed to the olive-skinned girl with dark, dark brown hair and warm hazel eyes that flashed gold when she glanced at Emmeline.

"Oh, so they're still close?" another digging question.

"No, he's not on very good terms with her, but she's one year below, so when they broke up after she was nominated, he didn't see her around enough to take her out of the running."

Aha. With quick brain-work, I deduced that if he was one year older than either of the two remaining "categories" of nominees (6th year and 7th year) he could only be a seventh year boy.

I shot a quick look to Remus, hoping he'd look over and I could send him a mental signal as to my cleverness and receive a proud look. However, I'm afraid my friend Remmy is not psychic and I gave up and looked back to the mysterious stranger whose hand I was still holding.

I would have noticed earlier if our hands were clammy. However, we both have cold hands so things stayed pretty dry.

"Who's that?" I asked, pointing to the remaining girl, a perky blonde.

"Tallulah Grimstone—"

"Oh! Of course, Madison's older sister, right?"

In response, he nodded.

"Predictably, I only _now_ see the resemblance."

He laughed again, and I looked around to see if Emmy had noticed, but she was too busy talking to Travis, who I'm starting to suspect sneezed on purpose. Sirius was chatting up the other two nominees, and James and the rest were in a corner, probably planning out what was actually going to happen during this ceremony.

Feeling confident from my, so far, fruitful efforts, I asked him another question.

"Oh, and what's the name of the seeker with the studly blue eyes sitting in this armchair right here?" I whispered in a secretive manner, making patterns on cushion with my pointer finger.

He quirked a smile, a sexy half-smile type thing, and opening his mouth to answer…

"Evans, time for the interview session!" Sirius interrupted, giving me a strong pat on the back.

"Black, is this some lame excuse to stall while you come up with something legitimate for the ceremony?"

"Well, Evans, maybe you would know if you weren't schmoozing with Grady King."

"Don't change the subject." I sneered.

"The interview isn't a fluke. I've even got a clipboard," he said importantly, looking down his nose at use while waving around said clipboard.

Of course, because of eyes strain, he couldn't see where he was waving and knocked Grady's hand out of mine.

"Sorry," Sirius said.

"Black, why don't fill out your interview yourself, you know me well enough."

"Alright Evans," and for a moment, I thought he'd go away. He turned on his heel, and promptly sat down, luckily not on me, but between the armchair and I. Between the King and I.

Oh gosh I'm funny.

But I also let out a scream of surprise, though Emmeline later tells me it was a guttural sound instead. James noticed this, and seeing Grady uselessly sitting still, called him over to help with planning.

" 'What do you do in your free time?' " Sirius asked himself, before putting on a falsetto and answering as me, "I enjoy sitting on the pitch and look at boy on brooms. Particularly, Slytherin boys in pants on brooms."

I pinched Sirius. Because he was mentioning my encounter with Nott's stones. Yes those.

"I swear, Nott wears shrink-wrap in substitution of pants."

"This is true."

"And I swear, you use shrink-wrap as a cranial cavity."

With that, I stood up, pulled my hat off my and shoved it on his numbskull, then took off the patch and snapped it onto his head as well.

"Arg!" he said.

Feeling sort of bad, I kneeled down and gave him a tight hug. "You know I love you, but you understand you deserved it?"

Sirius was silent before shrugging and nodding in the manner of a bobble-head.

"Ehem…" James cleared his throat, "we have decided to simply vote, and the Charm has been decided upon unanimously."

We all looked at him expectantly as he stood still and looked at us with his best poker face on.

"Nominators, please take your Nominees aside and tell them the news."

Before James had finished his statement, I made a beeline for him and asked him. "Well? Nominator?"

"Could you get any closer?" he asked with a chuckle, and my stomach churned because it was still cute, and I didn't know which of these Quidditch boys I liked better. I also realized I was less than an inch away from him, which wasn't so scary since I've been around him all week. Tutoring, that is.

"Sure," I said, peppily, and stepped on his feet and tried to balance myself. I ended up having to grab on to his arms, and they automatically wrapped around my waist to steady me.

"We should try dancing like this sometime," he commented vaguely.

"Who's the Luck?" I asked, exasperatedly after a moment.

"You, Lily." He said softly, "you've always been the luck."

I hadn't even noticed that the bell had rung for dinner, and that everyone had vacated the already emptied common room except for the two of us. What I did noticed was the gnawing feeling in my stomach right before I slipped off his feet despite our best efforts to hold on.

* * *

**A/N:** I was totally not expecting to put Grady King in as a new love interest. That one hit me out of nowhere. I was just putting together names to make a Quiddy team. I'm as shocked as you are. 

I wish I could be as brave as Lily.

Thanks to my reviewers, **Elli**, **Fairy Love** and **Sweettarts**.

REVIEW!

_Push my buttons, baby._


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